TEST DRIVE ∞ May 2025

[thediadem]

Test Drive ∞ May 2025

The First Collision

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Jump ⇅ :: Arrival — Panorama — Fringes — Invite Request

The Diadem is an invite-only panfandom game set in a retro-futuristic world where uprooted souls find themselves deep within an eerie wasteland of roads and highways frequently assailed by cosmic storms. Three united strongholds keep the population. Its capital is Panorama, a large metropolis at the planet's center.

Soon, you realize you aren't alone. Calling themselves fluxdrifts, the "locals" have similar stories to you, either for themselves or their ancestry. You speak to an old woman who claims she hailed from another star. You meet a young man who says his great-great-grandfather knew a strange language everybody spoke "back home." As you explore, you stumble across a coin you recognize or your sister's locket. How did it get here? What does this mean? That's for you to discover.

But first, you need to find a ride.

No invites needed to play on the TDM. Everyone's welcome! Use the Invite Request thread below to request an invite from another player.

∞ Summary ∞

IC-wise, arrivals are scattered throughout the month. Events described on the TDM are also ongoing throughout the month. If you'd rather jump right into the action, you're free to begin in media res with your character having already been on the planet for several days.

Post-impact, characters will wake up in a med tent by the Scrapyard. From there, they must accept a vehicle on loan and make the 2-hour drive to the nearest city, Panorama. If they refuse the car because they don't want the loan, they'll be in debt for medical bills instead...so just take the car. It'll come in handy.

Some things to keep in mind when bringing in your character:

• Pick an injury. At minimum, they got knocked out; at most, whatever they can recover from. Medicine is decently advanced so they'll heal faster if not painlessly.
• Decide items kept. Reasonable items on their person only: photos, keys, clothes, costumes. No pets or animal companions. Wildly out-of-place tech and personal cell phones will be damaged beyond repair.
• Select a weapon. Do this only if eligible. Guidelines about weapons and powers are on the FAQ.
• Choose a vehicle. Decide whether your character gets 2-3 options or if they're stuck with something they hate. Players can pick directly from our collection or source their own images. Anything under a similar aesthetic will work. If your character needs accommodations for driving, they can have them. Ask us for details.
• Get a phone. Characters have to obtain a phone (and a SIM card) themselves. If they've got one from home, it's damaged beyond repair. Phones are cheap. It'll only take a couple of weeks to afford one. You need to know the number before you text or call anyone. Read about phones and the Forum before you hop on it.

TDM threads can be canon if characters are accepted. Top-levels made to the TDM should be open to all.

TDM Questions? Here — Game Questions? FAQ

Setting — Taken — Reserves — Applications ::: ⇅ Top

Fluxdrift

Arrival & Introduction

Date: Throughout May

You've tumbled over a cliff. You were fighting for your life. You're on the cusp of death. You slipped in the shower. Whatever the catalyst, you struggle to cling to consciousness. As darkness overtakes you, a swirling vortex warps light and shadow in a way that defies all physics. A dark wail etches into your very bones. You couldn't describe it if you tried. You can barely comprehend what it is.

Then you open your eyes.

Through the figure's mask ©, you swear the face is grinning down at you. The tent you're in smells of antiseptic, and scratchy blankets line your cot. Injuries you've sustained have been bandaged. In the corner, you spot a MedBot that's fixed you up. Depending on the extent of your injuries, the doctor on duty might give you some painkillers before you go. Thankfully, your belongings are by the exit. Sorry if anything's damaged. Your landing was pretty rough.

You follow the figure outside. They are Yom Crook, here to lend a hand to fellow fluxdrifts like yourself. Their car's parked beside them. Actually, there are lots of cars around, but Yom Crook's stands out with its painted shark mouth. They explain they found you, unconscious, in a diffusion zone and brought you here. The nearest city is a 2-hour drive northeast. Forget about walking. You'll never make it. Also, you owe the doctor a lot of money for patching you up. But you're in luck: they've got some wheels for you and if you accept the vehicle on loan, Yom Crook will cover your medical bills. That's a good deal, right? It's not the shiniest car or motorcycle, but it'll do. If fortune favors, you'll get to choose between two or three options. Plus, if you need accommodations to drive—like adjustments to your seat height or modified controls—you'll receive all that for free.

Take the vehicle. (And the loan.) Yom Crook assures you that you'll have six months before collectors come around. Any time you're ready to pay a part of it down, return here to the Scrapyard. You'll get a receipt and everything. Paying off the loan in six months isn't impossible, but it will take a lot of work. Just don't get too lax. There's a good chance you'll be juggling multiple loans as you try to get by.

You either know how to drive, or you'll have a bare-bones manual to get you started. Road rules are more a suggestion than enforced, so just hit the pedal and go. The car has some basic features. The built-in compass will help you navigate.

OPTIONAL PROMPTS: a flat tire; a body on the road (is it a trap?); a fender bender

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Panorama

Explore & Settle In

Conditions: Warm spring temperatures, light showers

After 2 hours on the road, you find civilization. The largest of the strongholds, Panorama is where the economy thrives. Massive power plants glowing red make it visible from a distance. The city is divided into three districts. For now, you can access the Pavilion and the Blocks. Don't worry about the Sanctum; they're not letting you in.

You only need to know two things about Panorama: 1) it's big, the size of a modern metropolis, and you'll need your car to get around; 2) anything goes as long as you don't pick a fight with the wrong person. Street smarts will get you far. Despite its geographical size, the population isn't huge. With roughly a million people in a city designed for over twice that number, Panorama is far from deserted, but nor is it overcrowded. It's a good thing. Resources are limited as it is.

The Pavilion: Free Samples

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Like any large city, Panorama features a couple of supermarkets. The stock's not as consistent as a proper supermarket. On occasion, shelves can remain cleaned out for a week or two. Regardless, the long tradition of free samples remains. If you're not already shopping, you'll notice the crowded parking lot and clusters of lines inside.

Try samples, push through the crowds as you shop, or give yourself a five-finger discount. If you're cautious, you can pocket a few small items without consequences. The Pavillion doesn't have the infrastructure for surveillance; unless someone sees you, you won't be caught. Steal from the store or pilfer someone's wallet. Maybe you even make a new friend if you bump into another fluxdrift. Or, start a fight with somebody who cut you off in the cheese line. Don't make too much of a ruckus, or you'll be thrown out.

As you look around, you'll see posters advertising temporary positions for the cash register or graveyard shifts in the warehouse. Seems they might've lost several employees recently (how'd that happen?), which is good for you! It's just a 6-week position, but it'll get you on your feet. The city has temporary positions like this all over. Permanent ones are harder to come by when you're new.

Samples include: steamed cabbage dumplings, synthetic cherry juice, cheddar cheese, and chocolate-covered alien eggs (it's crunchy and weirdly tasty). They're served in the usual throwaway paper cups with little toothpicks.

The Blocks: Power Outage

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Power's finicky in Panorama, especially in the Blocks. Saint Margery's Hospital, located in the same area, has priority for power so the first to go are the motels. Maybe you've been in your room for a couple of weeks, maybe you just got here—and by the way, every motel desk is happy to put the fee on your tab if you don't have the money upfront—but all the motels on the east side are in a blackout, leaving only the west side motels up and running.

What do you do? You have three choices:

• Risk leaving your room and head to the other side where there's power. Knock on some doors and negotiate with another to share the room. They might shut the door in your face, ask for a favor in return, or be nice enough to help you with no strings attached. There's no guarantee your unattended room will be untouched, though, and you'll be on the hook for any damages an intruder causes.
• Sit in the dark and deal. It's not the worst idea, but the TV's down, the vending machines are powered down, and with the entire place plunged into darkness, you risk getting robbed. If you struggle with defending yourself, you might want to find some trustworthy company. You can also sneak out of there and let them take your leftover pizza. It's not like you've got a ton of valuables, right? Plus, clobbering someone in the face with a frying pan sounds great until you realize you've gotta do something with the body. And what if this person's got a friend waiting?
• Get in your car and drive (or grab a friend for a road trip). If you scroll the Forum, you might notice reports on diffusion zones southward. Besides, these motels are hardly your forever home. The city can only provide so much. Why not go for a ride and see what you can find out there?

OPTIONAL PROMPTS: clean up on aisle 3 (what is that goo?); a knock at your door but no one's there; you hear screaming or a commotion down the hall

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©

The Fringes

Quad 3: Lockdown

Conditions: Stormy, with flooding roads

Felix Bjurstrom
> Date: 125-05-17
> Time: 02:15:57

> Emergency road lights have been reported in Quadrant 3! Please, can someone go see what's there? When last we chasers investigated emergency lights, a whole truck filled with sour candy had tipped over. Our stores were stocked for weeks! Oh, be careful - reception looks bad in that zone.

Whether you end up here on your own or you were following a tip on the Forum, the outcome is the same: you come to a stop in front of a 2-story office building that's flooded several inches deep. Emergency lights from a roadblock flicker through the stormy night. Stepping out of your car, you're soaked within seconds. When you check your phone, you don't have any bars. No calls in or out.

Through the open windows, a computer awakens and displays a cheerful smile. The lights inside switch on.

Pick your scenario role below. Your thread partner doesn't need to take the opposite role! They can join you in the same scenario (i.e. trapped together). Players are also free to create a generic NPC for the other side to facilitate the thread.

After characters escape, they'll find one bottle of antibiotics in their pocket or car, whether they remember taking it or not.

A: Sealed In
As you peer through the windows, you see crates of medicine floating around. Antibiotics in the diadem are valuable. Hospitals and doctors are always buying. You can keep it for yourself or make a quick buck. Or maybe you're compelled to help somebody back in the city who's in need. Whatever the reason, you decide to take the risk and step inside.

Water splashes around your ankles. The lock buzzes behind you. If you try to break the windows, you discover they're unnaturally resistant to shattering. With the whole place locked tight, the water begins to churn. Then the computer lights up again.

Warning, it flashes in large, bold text. Quarantine in progress. Release code required for exit.

• To find the code, you'll have to search. Duck under the water, go through sopping envelopes and sticky notes or pick the locks on the filing cabinets and desk drawers. You can also try hacking the computers. Use your computer knowledge or fall back on the age-old trick of seeing who wrote down their password.
• The files, notepads, and emails start innocuous, but as you look through them, disturbing phrases jump out at you—a dark thought you've had or a cruel taunt from someone in your past. The longer you're fixed on the terrible words, the higher the water begins to rise. Only another can break you out of your trance.
• With the rising water comes fear. And the more you're afraid, the more the water also rises. You begin to see faces in the water, bobbing like balloon heads. Do you recognize them? If you move to take a closer look, they will sink back beneath the surface as if never there.
• If you manage to swallow your panic, you can eventually find a triple-laminated binder with the release code and instructions. Bad news: you need someone on the outside to punch in the 6 strange symbols in order. The instructions explain that the code panel is located at the back of the building.

Let's hope a friendly face comes along.

B: Set Free
As you peer through the windows, you see not just the crates of medicine but someone trapped inside. They look like they might be in trouble, and from your vantage point, you notice that the water is bubbling strangely. It's definitely not normal rainwater. As you watch, the water rises unnaturally, stopping and starting. It's as if the water level is responding to an external stimulus.

• The glass is soundproof. You can't hear what the person inside is saying, so you'll have to communicate with each other another way. Try charades, typing on your phone, or whatever you think of. Eventually, you determine that they're stuck and that you need to enter some sort of code onto a pad located—according to your trapped partner—at the back of the building.
• Around the back, shadows swallow your surroundings. The panel must be pried open, but a slippery substance makes it hard to get a good grip. Each time the substance touches you, you grow uneasy. You swear you see eyes watching you, though when you turn around, nothing's there.
• You can't seem to keep the instructions in your mind. And those symbols...they burn into your retinas. Through them, you glimpse an incomprehensibly massive figure unfurling in the darkness, pulsing as if in a deep sleep. When you snap back to reality, you realize you've injured yourself, slicing your hand on a sharp edge or a bruise you can't remember getting.
• Once you manage to release the doors, the water inside the office drains upward into the sky as though sucked out by a giant hose. The darkness spreads. Get out of there fast before the shadows drag you or your partner into the void.

Of course, you don't have to help anyone. You can leave the individual there, make a deal, or outright extort them. But remember, you're not the only person on these roads. You might want to play your cards carefully, even if altruism isn't your first instinct.

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Comments

[godjr]

Amara was released years ago. Until Chuck reabsorbed her recently.

[ Jack feels really guilty about that. He didn't love that they had to kill both of them, and that he was going to do it himself, but Dean assured him it was what they had to do. And Jack wanted to do the right thing, no matter what it might cost him specifically. He didn't know Amara. Jack pauses, his mind catching up to that information. ]

Oh. You're from the past.

[ This doesn't make it better. In fact this makes it much, much worse. Because it means he really doesn't know Jack, and he isn't going to magically remember, and everything will not be okay. Jack feels it in the pit of his stomach and he swallows back something heavy in his throat. ]

You aren't my father yet. That's sad. I don't like that.

[messenger]

[ it's a very convenient explanation. especially since he has no way to debunk it if it isn't true, unless dean and sam really are here and can confirm or deny jack's story. he doesn't know what to say to the rest; how to face jack's preoccupation with, supposedly, being his son. he isn't fond of the idea that he's responsible for someone, and particularly not in such an irrevocable way. he's ruined so much in his life, he'd surely only ruin this too; isn't claire evidence enough? she went away to live with someone else, and it was the best choice she could have made. ]

I'm sorry.

[ it's all he can think to say. and if any of this is true, he means it: jack must deserve better than this— than him, if there's any possibility at all he is who he says he is. sam, at least, he thinks would make a good father. and dean, naturally. so there's that.

castiel hesitates, then moves down the aisle. ]

[godjr]

[ It hurts. If this was earlier on, he might have had a temper tantrum, when he was young and his emotions got the better of him. Or when he had no soul, and he was prone to anger and striking out at people. But he's settled down a little bit and while his first instinct is to get upset and lose the edge of control he's managed, he focuses on Castiel. A Castiel who doesn't know him and is confused and worrying about the Darkness. He doesn't know what new worries there are.

Jack follows him down the aisle. A part of him wants to fly away but Castiel might need him. He doesn't know it, but he could. Jack's more powerful than he is and he is good in a fight, when he needs to be. This place is dangerous, he can't abandon him, Castiel wouldn't do that if Jack didn't know him. ]

I was thinking of getting a job here. We don't have the Men of Letters bunker to live in. If Sam and Dean get here, they'll need a place to sleep.

[messenger]

Sam and Dean can "hustle", they'll be fine. You should focus on your own debt.

[ though, truth be told, he's only focusing on his own because he has nothing better to do, so he can't exactly talk. he was brought here, for a reason or through pure, dumb luck, and he doesn't want to be. he gave up control and he had intended to remain that way, untethered, pulled through the tides of his life by lucifer's strong undertow until it drowned him. it's not like it matters anymore, what he does or doesn't do.

but he can't bring himself to stop trying now that he's in full control of his body again. if he did, it would mean he really is completely useless. ]

Did they give you a car too? How much did it cost?

[godjr]

Sam would get a job for my debt, I can do the same for him. I could be a provider.

[ Dean, probably not, but they don't have that kind of relationship. They can go fishing and driving and it's nice, but it's not the same thing as the paternal relationship he shares with Sam. He likes the idea of being the stable one, so that he can pay them back for all their support of him over his short life. If they show up with debt, maybe Jack will have money that he can give them, and it'll add up to something that equalizes the situation.

Knowing Sam, he'd just insist he spend it all on himself though. He smiles at the question though, brightening again. ]

I got a motorcycle. I thought Dean would find it cool, like the Matrix. He taught me how to drive the Impala, so I'm not very good at driving it, but I only crashed a few times.

[ He still likes to think that Dean would be duly impressed with his attempts. He is likely very wrong about that, but denial is something Jack is very good at. ]

I picked blue because you said it was my color. Like our ties.

[messenger]

Sam would?

[ castiel's brow furrows as he stops at the end of the aisle. he picks up a can of cat foot and inspects the label. at least he understands what jack is talking about. he's familiar with the matrix. it's a series of movies. the concepts go a bit over his head, but there are characters who ride motorcycles in them. though they all spend their time wearing black, latex and leather and shiny sunglasses that cover their eyes. jack looks nothing like them.

jack looks like a normal teenager-or-twenty-something, except that he obviously isn't. whatever he is to castiel, if he knows all this, he can't have had a normal upbringing. all that aside, he' struggling to imagine sam taking responsibility for a child. even if he believes he would make a good father, he can't help but see sam as the desperate boy he met eight years ago in that motel room.

castiel looks vaguely uncomfortable. ]

Dean probably thinks motorcycles are "cool".

[ they're also dangerous, and is jack wearing a helmet? except he doesn't know any better than jack does, so he makes no comment on his safety or lack thereof. he's struggling a little with the idea that dean let someone else drive the impala. ]

My car is an Impala, but it doesn't look anything like Dean's.

[godjr]

Of course he would, I'm his family.

[ Jack is only realizing now how many things he took for granted. He's been safely tucked away into a cocoon of sorts thanks to Castiel and Sam's reassurance of him, loving him even after being soulless and having made several violent errors of judgment. He's been privileged to have that sort of support, and he sees that now that it's gone. He has the surety of a child with absolute faith in his parents, and he wonders if he was wrong. ]

We had the bunker though, and we are hunters, so we don't have real jobs. I guess I'm lucky we never had debt before.

[ Not that he was aware of before. Jack only thought about money when Dean would hand him some in order to get them groceries. Otherwise everything was just sort of provided for. He's becoming more and more aware of how sheltered he is, and has to come to grips with that without those safety nets. ]

I think he'd like the motorcycle, if he is here, I can't wait to show him.

[ One of Jack's most important life goals is to impress Dean. ]

Well nothing is like his Impala, it's special.

[messenger]

... And Dean wouldn't?

[ something about that just doesn't sit right. dean has always been the one to take the young under his wing and mind them, so why is this different, suddenly? perhaps jack really is manipulating him, and he's gotten things mixed up somehow, didn't do his research quite so thoroughly. does he know about ben, and the year dean spent with lisa? does he know about dean's daughter? does he know about clare, and castiel's own terrible mistakes? it would almost feel worse if he did. perhaps he thinks him an easy target.

thinking back to metatron, castiel wonders if he might be right. ]

Sam and Dean only found the bunker recently. They've never needed jobs before.

[ castiel points out.

he doesn't know exactly how they managed. he couldn't cut it without the gas-n-sip, and even then he never earned enough to afford a motel room, let alone a place to stay permanently. they're just better at being human, he supposes. it only makes sense.

the cat food returns to its place on the shelf. ]

[godjr]

I can't really see him working a normal job like behind a cash register.

[ It's a nice thought though. Jack would really like that as an idea, that Dean would care enough to do something like that for him, but he's not that naive. Dean made it clear before they went and saw Adam where Jack was to him, and he hasn't tried to convince him otherwise, Jack's respected that, they understand one another. He's no longer the child he was when he thought he could be good enough to make up for it. And it's okay.

He had Sam and Castiel. Or he did. Now he has no one. But he has to do the right thing, for Castiel. He needs someone to watch his back if Dean and Sam aren't here. It's what the family does. Family shouldn't always be about how they look out for Jack. ]

I'm not used to feeling alone. [ It's on his mind. ] It's weird and sad. Does it get easier? [ As usual, looking toward Castiel for answers. ]

[messenger]

There are other jobs, though.

[ actually, as far as alternate worlds/universes go, this seems right up dean's alley. it's a car-based looting economy. what could be more ideal to a man who truly loves his car? this is the kind of place that dean could thrive in, though if he said it aloud he gets the feeling dean might not take it the right way. but it's undeniable that he's a man of many skills. so's sam, but sam also has a certain desire for stability.

the question strikes him in a tender place, and he starts to move again, around the end cap and down the next aisle. this one contains cleaning supplies.

he takes a breath. ]

Not in my experience.

[godjr]

I bet he'd be great at delivery.

[ Jack brightens at the idea. He could see that working for Dean, he likes to drive so much. Maybe this means that Jack should become a delivery person, only he's not good enough at being on a motorcycle to safely deliver anything other than his own body. So he'll have to practice until he can guarantee the success of anything he'd be paid for.

Jack follows him as a duckling would its mother but he's not in Castiel's close space, he's a respectful few feet back from where he might ordinarily be if they were still family. It's difficult for him to try and change how things have always been, but he's afraid too, of Castiel pushing him away. He wouldn't know what to do with that. ]

I think it's wrong that I wish they were here. Because we're supposed to be saving the world, and it was important that I was there, but I'm here, so I want them to be here too.

[messenger]

I'm not sure it makes a difference what we wish.

[ what he's wished for has never come to pass, and he doubts it ever will. is his wish unfair? selfish? probably. there are things he wants all for himself—

that's selfish enough. ]

[godjr]

[ That's a bleak response but an honest and genuine one, and he's used to that from Castiel. He can try to be nice for Jack but he also doesn't lie to him. Lies for him, maybe, but not to him, unless there's a protective reason why. Except this Castiel has no reason. He grimly looks at him and picks up a cleaning agent bottle. He has no bunker to clean now. ]

You didn't tell me a lot about what happened before. We had so much to focus on in the present.

[ Jack in general, in the start, his existence and keeping him away from angels, and then the alternate universe and killing Michael and everything that spiraled from there. He realizes now how blank his awareness is of the past. Maybe he was too ignorant, not to ask more questions. ]

I knew Amara was imprisoned before, but I think it was years ago. Was she mad at Chuck and that's why? Everyone's mad at him now.

[messenger]

I don't think I would have wanted you to know.

[ considering his part in so much of what happened. claire already had a terrible opinion of him from day one, and for good reason. but jack seems ignorant to most of what happened in the past. it would make it easy to run; to pretend it never happened.

he doesn't know if that makes jack's story more or less believable. ]

She's going to destroy everything.

[godjr]

I think you're right, but maybe I should have asked. You each had very complicated lives before me.

[ Jack learned things as they came up, but no one sat him down and spent hours explaining the long history of the Winchesters and Castiel and everything that came before. He accepted exactly what was in front of him without follow-up questions. It might be the childlike self-absorption of needing to view the world in simplistic terms in able to fathom it. But he's older now, he should have grown up. ]

She didn't. You stopped her. But I don't know how, I'm sorry. Right now we're trying to defeat Chuck, he's been destroying his other worlds, he's mad.

[messenger]

[ there are a lot of things that he would like to ask in return if he could bring himself to believe all this is true. his curiosity nags at him, but if he gives in, isn't that admitting that there's some weight to what jack says?

perhaps they stopped her; perhaps they didn't. it's easy to say that when there's no burden of proof. ]

Why would he destroy his own creation?

[godjr]

He wanted Dean to kill me for one of his stories and Dean refused to, so he got mad and decided to destroy everything and restart the universe.

[ It was, in a general way, a God-shaped temper tantrum. Jack had been willing to die for Dean and he had no intention of fighting him. If that was what Dean needed, even without a soul, Jack knew it was the right thing to do for him. He didn't need a soul to want to do right by his family, despite not having the moral ability to understand the details. ]

I think it was an echo of the story of Isaac and his son. Only he did want me dead. He killed me after Dean wouldn't.

[ With their family, people die all the time and come back, and Jack has the same calm acceptance of it than anyone else. It wasn't the first or last time he died, although it was a particularly painful one. It was too bad, a part of him maybe thought it would be interesting to get to know his grandfather. Unfortunately he was a disappointment just like Lucifer. ]

We had a plan but ... I'm here now. So I can't do it.

[messenger]

Oh.

[ castiel doesn't know what to say to all that. it can't possibly true. their father forsook them, but he wouldn't betray them so totally, would he—? castiel's eyes focus on something in the middle distance, a thought, a memory lingering uncomfortably. or perhaps just an uncomfortable feeling. he has a lot of those.

his gaze moves to jack, and then drifts away again. he moves down the cleaning aisle, heading toward the next, as though he's on a mission for something specific. he came here to ask about the job, but he thinks he might have to return at a later date. there's no way he can do the interview now. ]

That sounds bad.

[godjr]

It is. I hope everything is okay. I was kind of important to the plan.

[ Jack was the plan. The brothers couldn't kill God themselves, they needed the superpowered Nephilim to do it for them. But he can't do anything about it now. Maybe they are okay. The Winchesters are really good at surviving and if he can figure out a way back, they can finish the plan. He follows Castiel, too used to being important to him to consider whether or not he's being annoying. ]

You never told me what Chuck was like before. I only met him when he was mad and vengeful. It made me sad, because I thought, he couldn't always be that bad, could he?

[ But Jack didn't want to ask because obviously his entire existence now has been surrounding killing God and stopping him from destroying all universes. So he's not allowed to wonder if it was right or not. The Winchesters already have strong feelings about him, and his father Lucifer obviously did too, but Castiel himself has never talked about it. ]

What was he like?

[messenger]

[ and what was the plan, castiel wonders? it's withering to consider a time where he may have to face his father as an enemy. though he's been on earth long enough to understand how such things could come to be, he feels no better about the turn reality has taken. the world used to be so much simpler. the spheres were once in harmony. or, at least, it felt that way, and sometimes he wonders if his ignorance wasn't preferable. ]

I never knew him personally.

[ a few more months out, and he would have the opportunity, while lucifer rid his vessel and his father ignored the lesser angel trapped inside its meat. but he doesn't know his own future, and distrusts jack's.

castiel purses his lips and shakes his head, once, to himself. ]

Is there a reason he wanted you dead so badly?

[godjr]

Oh. That must be why you don't tell me about him.

[ Jack thought maybe it was painful. He doesn't really understand the relationship between the angels and Chuck. He knows that Lucifer and Michael were very close to him though, more so than the others. He's created so many beautiful things, he had to have been good once. Jack tries to be good and he hopes some things aren't inevitable, like him being like his father and grandfather. Castiel is supposed to be one of the things that helps him from that. ]

You ... can't tell?

[ The angels were able to track him before and supernatural beings sometimes could tell looking at him what he is, but Cas also has known Jack from the start. Or a future him does. It's fair for Castiel to ask and maybe he should stop being afraid. Maybe he's being foolish. ]

I'm a Nephilim. He's afraid of my power. I almost killed him. That's what I was supposed to do for the plan. I didn't ... want to. But I have to, for everyone.

[ Jack really and truly does not want to kill anyone. He has enough death on his hands but he knows that some things are more important than his personal feelings. He's a hunter, he's a Winchester. It's more than him. ]

jack i feel so bad （；´д｀）ゞ

[messenger]

[ castiel should be able to tell. but it seems since he's arrived, his senses have failed him. either that, or lucifer's possession has weakened him to the point where his powers are no longer reliable. whichever is the truth, it doesn't matter. the result is the same in the end. the expression freezes on his face when jack admits to what he is.

he almost steps back. ]

I thought you said you were adopted.

[ wishful thinking, he supposes, that he assumed jack meant he was human. ]

RIP :'(

[godjr]

I am. When my mother was pregnant with me, you took care of her, and we chose you to be my father because she was going to die.

[ He still doesn't like the idea of adopted but it is the correct word. And it does mean they chose one another rather than something like being biologically connected, the way he is with Lucifer. He wishes that Castiel was his father, truly. He would do anything for that to be the truth, and that he didn't have to worry all the time about what he was. Now that he has Lucifer's power literally running through his veins, it's an active fear. ]

But you were killed when I was born, so Sam and Dean took me in. But I helped bring you out of the Empty, so we could be together. You've all raised me the past three years.

[messenger]

[ that's a lot of information to communicate in so little words. a sense of overwhelm comes over castiel then, his lips parting as something in his face blanks out. he can't help but wish for lucifer to be back in control of his body. things were much easier, then. the morning star has a way of making the world a simpler place. none of this mess can possibly be true. but perhaps some of it is. there's no reason for jack to lie about being a nephilim.

he should know it won't help him to get in his good graces.

but then why would he tell him at all? ]

This is ridiculous.

[ like it isn't his own fault for asking questions.

he turns on his heel and begins to walk away. of course, he can't ever really run away from jack, not if he is what he says he is. ]

[godjr]

[ Jack is hurt by the general situation because no recognition in Castiel's eyes is difficult, but he does understand that frustration. His whole existence is ridiculous and confusing and sudden. He knows that he was lucky that his family decided to take care of him instead of putting him down. Especially given who his father is, and this further proves to him that if Castiel knew, he would reject him. He's already rejecting him.

Jack looks sad but he follows Castiel as he walks away. He doesn't go too close at his heels because he doesn't want to be annoying, but he stays about a step or two behind him, just trailing him like a lost puppy. ]

I can't abandon you, Castiel. You need someone to watch your back. Dean and Sam aren't here.

[ Even if it makes his heart ache, he knows what the right thing to do is, what family does for each other. Castiel never left him to be alone, until Jack flew away. He would have followed if Jack was telling him to go. ]