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TEST DRIVE ∞ May 2025
Test Drive ∞ May 2025
The First Collision
The Diadem is an invite-only panfandom game set in a retro-futuristic world where uprooted souls find themselves deep within an eerie wasteland of roads and highways frequently assailed by cosmic storms. Three united strongholds keep the population. Its capital is Panorama, a large metropolis at the planet's center.
Soon, you realize you aren't alone. Calling themselves fluxdrifts, the "locals" have similar stories to you, either for themselves or their ancestry. You speak to an old woman who claims she hailed from another star. You meet a young man who says his great-great-grandfather knew a strange language everybody spoke "back home." As you explore, you stumble across a coin you recognize or your sister's locket. How did it get here? What does this mean? That's for you to discover.
But first, you need to find a ride.
Soon, you realize you aren't alone. Calling themselves fluxdrifts, the "locals" have similar stories to you, either for themselves or their ancestry. You speak to an old woman who claims she hailed from another star. You meet a young man who says his great-great-grandfather knew a strange language everybody spoke "back home." As you explore, you stumble across a coin you recognize or your sister's locket. How did it get here? What does this mean? That's for you to discover.
But first, you need to find a ride.
No invites needed to play on the TDM. Everyone's welcome! Use the Invite Request thread below to request an invite from another player.
∞ Summary ∞
IC-wise, arrivals are scattered throughout the month. Events described on the TDM are also ongoing throughout the month. If you'd rather jump right into the action, you're free to begin in media res with your character having already been on the planet for several days.
Post-impact, characters will wake up in a med tent by the Scrapyard. From there, they must accept a vehicle on loan and make the 2-hour drive to the nearest city, Panorama. If they refuse the car because they don't want the loan, they'll be in debt for medical bills instead...so just take the car. It'll come in handy.
Some things to keep in mind when bringing in your character:
TDM threads can be canon if characters are accepted. Top-levels made to the TDM should be open to all.
Post-impact, characters will wake up in a med tent by the Scrapyard. From there, they must accept a vehicle on loan and make the 2-hour drive to the nearest city, Panorama. If they refuse the car because they don't want the loan, they'll be in debt for medical bills instead...so just take the car. It'll come in handy.
Some things to keep in mind when bringing in your character:
- Pick an injury. At minimum, they got knocked out; at most, whatever they can recover from. Medicine is decently advanced so they'll heal faster if not painlessly.
- Decide items kept. Reasonable items on their person only: photos, keys, clothes, costumes. No pets or animal companions. Wildly out-of-place tech and personal cell phones will be damaged beyond repair.
- Select a weapon. Do this only if eligible. Guidelines about weapons and powers are on the FAQ.
- Choose a vehicle. Decide whether your character gets 2-3 options or if they're stuck with something they hate. Players can pick directly from our collection or source their own images. Anything under a similar aesthetic will work. If your character needs accommodations for driving, they can have them. Ask us for details.
- Get a phone. Characters have to obtain a phone (and a SIM card) themselves. If they've got one from home, it's damaged beyond repair. Phones are cheap. It'll only take a couple of weeks to afford one. You need to know the number before you text or call anyone. Read about phones and the Forum before you hop on it.
TDM threads can be canon if characters are accepted. Top-levels made to the TDM should be open to all.
Fluxdrift
Arrival & Introduction
Date: Throughout May
You've tumbled over a cliff. You were fighting for your life. You're on the cusp of death. You slipped in the shower. Whatever the catalyst, you struggle to cling to consciousness. As darkness overtakes you, a swirling vortex warps light and shadow in a way that defies all physics. A dark wail etches into your very bones. You couldn't describe it if you tried. You can barely comprehend what it is.
Then you open your eyes.
Through the figure's mask ©, you swear the face is grinning down at you. The tent you're in smells of antiseptic, and scratchy blankets line your cot. Injuries you've sustained have been bandaged. In the corner, you spot a MedBot that's fixed you up. Depending on the extent of your injuries, the doctor on duty might give you some painkillers before you go. Thankfully, your belongings are by the exit. Sorry if anything's damaged. Your landing was pretty rough.
You follow the figure outside. They are Yom Crook, here to lend a hand to fellow fluxdrifts like yourself. Their car's parked beside them. Actually, there are lots of cars around, but Yom Crook's stands out with its painted shark mouth. They explain they found you, unconscious, in a diffusion zone and brought you here. The nearest city is a 2-hour drive northeast. Forget about walking. You'll never make it. Also, you owe the doctor a lot of money for patching you up. But you're in luck: they've got some wheels for you and if you accept the vehicle on loan, Yom Crook will cover your medical bills. That's a good deal, right? It's not the shiniest car or motorcycle, but it'll do. If fortune favors, you'll get to choose between two or three options. Plus, if you need accommodations to drive—like adjustments to your seat height or modified controls—you'll receive all that for free.
Take the vehicle. (And the loan.) Yom Crook assures you that you'll have six months before collectors come around. Any time you're ready to pay a part of it down, return here to the Scrapyard. You'll get a receipt and everything. Paying off the loan in six months isn't impossible, but it will take a lot of work. Just don't get too lax. There's a good chance you'll be juggling multiple loans as you try to get by.
You either know how to drive, or you'll have a bare-bones manual to get you started. Road rules are more a suggestion than enforced, so just hit the pedal and go. The car has some basic features. The built-in compass will help you navigate.
Through the figure's mask ©, you swear the face is grinning down at you. The tent you're in smells of antiseptic, and scratchy blankets line your cot. Injuries you've sustained have been bandaged. In the corner, you spot a MedBot that's fixed you up. Depending on the extent of your injuries, the doctor on duty might give you some painkillers before you go. Thankfully, your belongings are by the exit. Sorry if anything's damaged. Your landing was pretty rough.
You follow the figure outside. They are Yom Crook, here to lend a hand to fellow fluxdrifts like yourself. Their car's parked beside them. Actually, there are lots of cars around, but Yom Crook's stands out with its painted shark mouth. They explain they found you, unconscious, in a diffusion zone and brought you here. The nearest city is a 2-hour drive northeast. Forget about walking. You'll never make it. Also, you owe the doctor a lot of money for patching you up. But you're in luck: they've got some wheels for you and if you accept the vehicle on loan, Yom Crook will cover your medical bills. That's a good deal, right? It's not the shiniest car or motorcycle, but it'll do. If fortune favors, you'll get to choose between two or three options. Plus, if you need accommodations to drive—like adjustments to your seat height or modified controls—you'll receive all that for free.
Take the vehicle. (And the loan.) Yom Crook assures you that you'll have six months before collectors come around. Any time you're ready to pay a part of it down, return here to the Scrapyard. You'll get a receipt and everything. Paying off the loan in six months isn't impossible, but it will take a lot of work. Just don't get too lax. There's a good chance you'll be juggling multiple loans as you try to get by.
You either know how to drive, or you'll have a bare-bones manual to get you started. Road rules are more a suggestion than enforced, so just hit the pedal and go. The car has some basic features. The built-in compass will help you navigate.
OPTIONAL PROMPTS: a flat tire; a body on the road (is it a trap?); a fender bender
Panorama
Explore & Settle In
Conditions: Warm spring temperatures, light showers
After 2 hours on the road, you find civilization. The largest of the strongholds, Panorama is where the economy thrives. Massive power plants glowing red make it visible from a distance. The city is divided into three districts. For now, you can access the Pavilion and the Blocks. Don't worry about the Sanctum; they're not letting you in.
You only need to know two things about Panorama: 1) it's big, the size of a modern metropolis, and you'll need your car to get around; 2) anything goes as long as you don't pick a fight with the wrong person. Street smarts will get you far. Despite its geographical size, the population isn't huge. With roughly a million people in a city designed for over twice that number, Panorama is far from deserted, but nor is it overcrowded. It's a good thing. Resources are limited as it is.
You only need to know two things about Panorama: 1) it's big, the size of a modern metropolis, and you'll need your car to get around; 2) anything goes as long as you don't pick a fight with the wrong person. Street smarts will get you far. Despite its geographical size, the population isn't huge. With roughly a million people in a city designed for over twice that number, Panorama is far from deserted, but nor is it overcrowded. It's a good thing. Resources are limited as it is.
The Pavilion: Free Samples
Like any large city, Panorama features a couple of supermarkets. The stock's not as consistent as a proper supermarket. On occasion, shelves can remain cleaned out for a week or two. Regardless, the long tradition of free samples remains. If you're not already shopping, you'll notice the crowded parking lot and clusters of lines inside.
Try samples, push through the crowds as you shop, or give yourself a five-finger discount. If you're cautious, you can pocket a few small items without consequences. The Pavillion doesn't have the infrastructure for surveillance; unless someone sees you, you won't be caught. Steal from the store or pilfer someone's wallet. Maybe you even make a new friend if you bump into another fluxdrift. Or, start a fight with somebody who cut you off in the cheese line. Don't make too much of a ruckus, or you'll be thrown out.
As you look around, you'll see posters advertising temporary positions for the cash register or graveyard shifts in the warehouse. Seems they might've lost several employees recently (how'd that happen?), which is good for you! It's just a 6-week position, but it'll get you on your feet. The city has temporary positions like this all over. Permanent ones are harder to come by when you're new.
Try samples, push through the crowds as you shop, or give yourself a five-finger discount. If you're cautious, you can pocket a few small items without consequences. The Pavillion doesn't have the infrastructure for surveillance; unless someone sees you, you won't be caught. Steal from the store or pilfer someone's wallet. Maybe you even make a new friend if you bump into another fluxdrift. Or, start a fight with somebody who cut you off in the cheese line. Don't make too much of a ruckus, or you'll be thrown out.
As you look around, you'll see posters advertising temporary positions for the cash register or graveyard shifts in the warehouse. Seems they might've lost several employees recently (how'd that happen?), which is good for you! It's just a 6-week position, but it'll get you on your feet. The city has temporary positions like this all over. Permanent ones are harder to come by when you're new.
Samples include: steamed cabbage dumplings, synthetic cherry juice, cheddar cheese, and chocolate-covered alien eggs (it's crunchy and weirdly tasty). They're served in the usual throwaway paper cups with little toothpicks.
The Blocks: Power Outage
Power's finicky in Panorama, especially in the Blocks. Saint Margery's Hospital, located in the same area, has priority for power so the first to go are the motels. Maybe you've been in your room for a couple of weeks, maybe you just got here—and by the way, every motel desk is happy to put the fee on your tab if you don't have the money upfront—but all the motels on the east side are in a blackout, leaving only the west side motels up and running.
What do you do? You have three choices:
What do you do? You have three choices:
- Risk leaving your room and head to the other side where there's power. Knock on some doors and negotiate with another to share the room. They might shut the door in your face, ask for a favor in return, or be nice enough to help you with no strings attached. There's no guarantee your unattended room will be untouched, though, and you'll be on the hook for any damages an intruder causes.
- Sit in the dark and deal. It's not the worst idea, but the TV's down, the vending machines are powered down, and with the entire place plunged into darkness, you risk getting robbed. If you struggle with defending yourself, you might want to find some trustworthy company. You can also sneak out of there and let them take your leftover pizza. It's not like you've got a ton of valuables, right? Plus, clobbering someone in the face with a frying pan sounds great until you realize you've gotta do something with the body. And what if this person's got a friend waiting?
- Get in your car and drive (or grab a friend for a road trip). If you scroll the Forum, you might notice reports on diffusion zones southward. Besides, these motels are hardly your forever home. The city can only provide so much. Why not go for a ride and see what you can find out there?
OPTIONAL PROMPTS: clean up on aisle 3 (what is that goo?); a knock at your door but no one's there; you hear screaming or a commotion down the hall
The Fringes
Quad 3: Lockdown
Conditions: Stormy, with flooding roads
Felix Bjurstrom
> Date: 125-05-17
> Time: 02:15:57
> Emergency road lights have been reported in Quadrant 3! Please, can someone go see what's there? When last we chasers investigated emergency lights, a whole truck filled with sour candy had tipped over. Our stores were stocked for weeks! Oh, be careful - reception looks bad in that zone.
> Date: 125-05-17
> Time: 02:15:57
> Emergency road lights have been reported in Quadrant 3! Please, can someone go see what's there? When last we chasers investigated emergency lights, a whole truck filled with sour candy had tipped over. Our stores were stocked for weeks! Oh, be careful - reception looks bad in that zone.
Through the open windows, a computer awakens and displays a cheerful smile. The lights inside switch on.
Pick your scenario role below. Your thread partner doesn't need to take the opposite role! They can join you in the same scenario (i.e. trapped together). Players are also free to create a generic NPC for the other side to facilitate the thread.
After characters escape, they'll find one bottle of antibiotics in their pocket or car, whether they remember taking it or not.
After characters escape, they'll find one bottle of antibiotics in their pocket or car, whether they remember taking it or not.
A: Sealed In
As you peer through the windows, you see crates of medicine floating around. Antibiotics in the diadem are valuable. Hospitals and doctors are always buying. You can keep it for yourself or make a quick buck. Or maybe you're compelled to help somebody back in the city who's in need. Whatever the reason, you decide to take the risk and step inside.
Water splashes around your ankles. The lock buzzes behind you. If you try to break the windows, you discover they're unnaturally resistant to shattering. With the whole place locked tight, the water begins to churn. Then the computer lights up again.
Warning, it flashes in large, bold text. Quarantine in progress. Release code required for exit.
- To find the code, you'll have to search. Duck under the water, go through sopping envelopes and sticky notes or pick the locks on the filing cabinets and desk drawers. You can also try hacking the computers. Use your computer knowledge or fall back on the age-old trick of seeing who wrote down their password.
- The files, notepads, and emails start innocuous, but as you look through them, disturbing phrases jump out at you—a dark thought you've had or a cruel taunt from someone in your past. The longer you're fixed on the terrible words, the higher the water begins to rise. Only another can break you out of your trance.
- With the rising water comes fear. And the more you're afraid, the more the water also rises. You begin to see faces in the water, bobbing like balloon heads. Do you recognize them? If you move to take a closer look, they will sink back beneath the surface as if never there.
- If you manage to swallow your panic, you can eventually find a triple-laminated binder with the release code and instructions. Bad news: you need someone on the outside to punch in the 6 strange symbols in order. The instructions explain that the code panel is located at the back of the building.
B: Set Free
As you peer through the windows, you see not just the crates of medicine but someone trapped inside. They look like they might be in trouble, and from your vantage point, you notice that the water is bubbling strangely. It's definitely not normal rainwater. As you watch, the water rises unnaturally, stopping and starting. It's as if the water level is responding to an external stimulus.
- The glass is soundproof. You can't hear what the person inside is saying, so you'll have to communicate with each other another way. Try charades, typing on your phone, or whatever you think of. Eventually, you determine that they're stuck and that you need to enter some sort of code onto a pad located—according to your trapped partner—at the back of the building.
- Around the back, shadows swallow your surroundings. The panel must be pried open, but a slippery substance makes it hard to get a good grip. Each time the substance touches you, you grow uneasy. You swear you see eyes watching you, though when you turn around, nothing's there.
- You can't seem to keep the instructions in your mind. And those symbols...they burn into your retinas. Through them, you glimpse an incomprehensibly massive figure unfurling in the darkness, pulsing as if in a deep sleep. When you snap back to reality, you realize you've injured yourself, slicing your hand on a sharp edge or a bruise you can't remember getting.
- Once you manage to release the doors, the water inside the office drains upward into the sky as though sucked out by a giant hose. The darkness spreads. Get out of there fast before the shadows drag you or your partner into the void.
Main Navigation ::: ⇅
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no subject
Yes, of course.
[ He would have liked to stay with him, but he accepts it easily. He'll just get the room next door. Castiel is going to find him hard to shake, unfortunately. He won't stalk him everywhere, just keep an eye on him, until Sam or Dean arrives. He follows him.]
Can we talk about this situation we're in? I don't know what we're supposed to do in this place.
i wrote a nice tag that dw apparently ate... sighs
castiel inhales, his shoulders sagging beneath an invisible weight. ]
We're meant to be paying our debts.
[ aren't they always? ]
RIP that's DW for you
Not very new for us.
[ Jack has debts he doesn't think he'll ever repay, especially to the Winchesters. Dean told him it meant something to him, what he was willing to sacrifice (his life) to end the Chuck situation for him. It wasn't forgiveness for Mary, but it was the beginning of peace. It would have been easier to die knowing he made some headway with him before the end. That's not how it ended though. ]
Do you think there is a way to go home? I'm not very good at magic, and I don't think we can trust my portal making.
y u p
[ castiel sighs. as they pass through the aisles, the front of the store opens up. damp air blows in from the outside where people are coming and and going through the main double doors. he considers the question while he ducks through them. outside in the cool evening air, the damp scent of panorama lies heavy on the back of his tongue. ]
You haven't practiced?
[ how old is this nephilim? castiel isn't very good at judging human ages based on appearance, but he glances back (trying to be subtle about it and failing) to see if jack's features will give him any hint. but, no. all he can say is that he's a young adult. eighteen or twenty, he'd venture. shouldn't have that been plenty of time to become acquainted with his powers? ]
I don't know if we can go home. [ castiel seems to trail off. then he adds, ] I'm familiar with a method of passing through into different universes without creating portals, but it's a one-way trip only.
no subject
[ There were more than a few things that Jack didn't practice at that he probably should have, but there was always so much fear surrounding what he was capable of, and what it could mean. He learned whatever he could and he is much better at it than he was in the start, and with his soul now, he can be trusted with more of it than before. But there will always be a healthy fear in Jack's heart about his powers and the damage they're capable of, what they've already done. Someday, maybe he can find a way to exist with them. ]
I'm told it takes time to learn, but I haven't been alive very long. I think I'm three now, but I don't know for sure. I was dead for some of it.
[ The exact amount of time Jack has existed, he stopped counting at, so he's estimating. And the time he was awake in the Empty with Billie counts, so he's rounding up. Jack usually feels strange admitting his age because it's a strange contrast to how he looks and also how he feels sometimes, he isn't really a child, but he has childlike qualities from his inexperience. And he's been cherished by his family like one. 'Our kid' Sam said about him. ]
I have the power of two archangels, if you could teach me, maybe I could try.
no subject
[ he misses a step and almost trips. he'd twist his ankle if he wasn't an angel.
but it makes some sense. three years. castiel doesn't know the state a nephilim would normally come into being in, but it's not as though angels are ever children. perhaps jack wasn't, either.
castiel rubs his knee and continues to walk off in some vague direction. probably heading toward the motels. there's still no reason jack shouldn't have been attending to his powers. if he was, apparently, his guardian, then why wasn't he guiding him?
well, he can think of one reason. ]
I'm the last person who should be teaching you anything.
no subject
[ Jack is the only Nephilim that he knows of so he doesn't know if it would be like that for everyone. But he is also no common Nephilim, if that's even something that can be said for one. He's the son of Lucifer, one of the most powerful beings in existence. What Jack is capable of, no one knows, least of all Jack. But Castiel was key to this because he was supposed to guide Jack afterward, and he did, once he came back from the Empty. He's been an amazing father.
It's painful to wonder if he will see his father again, if he will have to take care of this version forever, and he will, of course he will. Every version of Castiel he will love without question, with absolute devotion. It's just strange to have nothing in common again. He's confused when Castiel says that. ]
You do. You all do. I am very lucky that you chose to take care of me instead of hurt me.
[ Jack knows it was very much an uncertain thing, and that was before Dean thought he was a monster. Even in the womb, no one was certain what to make of him, and if he would be a disaster and a horrible creature. He wasn't supposed to exist but he did. ]
Castiel, you are the best guardian I could ever ask for.
no subject
[ it's easy to believe that jack is only three. conversely, it's impossible to believe that he's somehow come into the power of one archangel, let alone two. but if he's only three, then perhaps this makes some sense of all his outlandish lies. angels are never really children, but jack is still new to this world, the same as he once was.
obviously, dean would be the better steward. he was castiel's. it's only because of dean that he's gotten this far, all his failures aside. it was dean who led him to this life; dean who made him want to live it.
he feels another pang of guilt at having given up— but it isn't dean's fault he's so miserable at this. there was never any hope for him to begin with.
perhaps there is for jack. ]
I'm sorry, but you must have known a different Castiel.
no subject
But Dean never wanted to be that person for him, so Sam stepped up instead. Jack's past the feelings of pain and rejection that had for him when he was younger. He understands how complicated emotions can be. ]
No, it is you, just you in the future. Whatever happened with the Darkness, you pushed through it, all of you, like you always do.
[ That's the thing he admires about his family. Everything they've gone through, all the hardships and ups and downs, and they still fight, they still survive. It's why he wants to be strong like them too, why he hasn't given up yet. ]
Castiel, there is nothing that you can't overcome. I've seen it.
no subject
[ it's a possibility, isn't it? castiel casts his gaze upward, as though he's considering the proposition. it's then that something occurs to him. ]
If I was brought here when the Darkness was still at large, how could I be there in your time?
no subject
[ How could he know? He's too young to have experienced enough timelines and universes to say with complete certainty. And he doesn't know if there is a possibility for certainty in the strangeness of their life. But he doesn't care really at the same time. He is emotionally connected to every version of Castiel. ]
That's the sort of thing I would ask you or Sam.
[ They're much smarter and wiser than he is. ]
There was an evil version of you in the Apocalypse universe. I know they're possible, but you aren't evil, I can see the goodness in you.
no subject
How do you know that he was evil? The worst things I've ever done, I did with good intentions.
no subject
[ Maybe evil was too strong a word but Jack has a tendency to think in black and white terms sometimes. He often uses that dichotomy for herself, whether he's good or evil, and he struggles with the nuances in the middle, even if it's where he truly belongs. He's still afraid of being like Lucifer. ]
He didn't have our family. That must have made the difference.
no subject
he can't imagine how different.
he supposes now he'll never see him again, just as jack won't be seeing sam. though the former was his own choice. he accepted, when he said yes to lucifer, that he would never retrieve his body. it seemed more likely that in the end lucifer would finish it by killing him, just to have a laugh (as is his custom).
it makes him sad all the same. ]
I hope you can get back there someday, [ castiel turns away. ] but I'm not him.
no subject
[ Jack has accepted his situation for now and he will adapt and survive to the best of his ability, but he isn't going to accept that he's separated from his family for the rest of his very long life. He isn't going to spend hundreds of years just sitting here, he is going to solve it eventually, just as he knows Dean and Sam would if they were in his position. ]
You aren't him. [ It's terrible. ] But if our positions were reversed, you would look out for me, and I am not going to let you be somewhere without backup. I am a powerful ally, I can protect you.
no subject
It's probably irresponsible of me to encourage you to use your powers on my behalf, if you have the strength of two archangels and no idea how to use them.
no subject
[ Jack isn't proud of it. He is proud that he has managed to use his powers to defend people and to protect his family, but he doesn't like killing. The righteousness of it does make it better, but he's not sure he'll ever be as easy with it as his family. It always makes him feel like he's closer to Lucifer than not, when Lucifer enjoys killing so much. ]
I recently absorbed Lucifer's power, so I don't know how to use that yet, but I'm not even sure if it's different from Michael's grace or mine. It's just ... more.
[ Jack looks down at his hands and where he knows that the power is flowing through his body. It's dangerous to have this much in one being, and Jack was already so strong on his own. It's scary and he hadn't given that much thought because they were so focused on ending Chuck. He just had to hold on long enough to get to his grandfather and then they would figure out the rest later. ]
But I can protect you, fa--Castiel.
no subject
all told, he should care more than he does.
of course jack can protect him. and if he has to, he'lll have failed. just like he's failed at everything else. he tries not to flinch when jack almost says the word father. maybe he won't notice. ]
What are your plans?
no subject
He does notice, and it hurts, but he also understands. He needs to stop forcing that relationship onto this Castiel. Jack is devoted to him and that will not change, but he'll have to figure out how to do it in a respectful way. ]
I will get a job. Jobs. For the debt.
[ That seems like the right first step. ]
And I will go out into the remote areas, away from people, and practice. I will get stronger. And ....
[ Jack sighs and puts his hands into his jean pockets, looking down at the ground. The sadness swallows him up.]
I will try not to bother you, Castiel. I know that you didn't ask for this. You didn't make the promise.
no subject
but what jack goes on to say halts his line of thought. ]
What kind of promise did I make?
no subject
[ Jack obviously forgave them for that and he understood completely, he made saving Mary from the other world one of his primary goals when he separated from his family to get better at all of this. It was his fault, albeit from the womb, that it happened in the first place. And he doesn't regret going to the other world and taking everyone who wanted to leave away from it. He doesn't regret killing Michael and sparing them, even if it did take away his soul. He did it to save people. ]
I try to do as much good as I can, but I make mistakes. I'm ... going to do my best, I promise.
no subject
castiel's nose and brow crease in thought, a frown making its way across his face as gravel crunches under his feet. ]
Are you Gabriel's?
[ every since he met metatron's version, he's been wondering if, perhaps... and let's be honest, there's no better candidate for fathering a nephilim. he's shocked it hasn't happened sooner. ]
no subject
No, I'm ....
[ Jack wishes it was Gabriel. Gabriel sounded like an okay archangel, better than Michael and Lucifer, although that's a low bar. He would have been proud to be his son in comparison. A trickster is not a villain, not really. ]
Lucifer is my father. My mother ran from him and you helped hide us so I could be raised away from him.
[ It isn't as simple as Jack always hating Lucifer though, that would be less shameful. For a little while there, he considered running away with him, unable to cope with being so different from the others. But now he knows. It's why he hurries to add in quick verbal pleas. ]
But I'm nothing like him, I swear it, I ... may have some of his abilities but it doesn't make me like him. You three taught me how to be good.
no subject
the alternative isn't better.
what flashes across castiel's face couldn't be called fear. it goes beyond that.
he turns away quickly, hoping jack won't see. as he forces one foot in front of the other, another revelation comes to him. one that makes his heart drop like a stone into his cold and oily guts. he swallows around a dry throat, opening his mouth to ask a question he knows he can't put voice to. the answer is obvious, anyway: he's the one who let lucifer out of the cage.
suddenly, he understands why he felt it his responsibility to deal with jack— but this isn't his mistake. he shakes his head. no. it still makes no sense. lucifer hates humanity. and he if lived, he wouldn't have let him run amok. ]
I hope for your sake that all of this is a ruse.
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[ For the first time in the conversation, Jack sounds something other than hopeful or serious, he sounds disgusted. Being Lucifer's son has been a scar on him since the moment he was born. Dean didn't let him forget it for a long time, but it's not as if he could. The question of whether Jack was doomed to be like Lucifer is what most of his life has been surrounding. Three years isn't a long time, but it's long enough to be tired of the same question.
And every bad choice he made, every mistake or accident or foolish trusting of someone else, it made him wonder if he is fighting pointlessly. But Castiel was his rock, the person who was certain of him. It's painful to lack that when looking at the face of the person he loves so deeply. ]
Most of the bad things that happened to me, to all of us, are because of him. I hate him, and I'm glad he's dead.
[ Lucifer stealing his Grace is why his body died, why his soul took over his life force, and why he burned it out killing Michael. Why he killed Mary, why he hates himself. It all comes back to the same person who gave him life. ]
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cw suicidal thoughts
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CW: suicidal mentality
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WHELP.
(っ ;Д ;)っ bb...