Entry tags:
TEST DRIVE ∞ May 2025
Test Drive ∞ May 2025
The First Collision
The Diadem is an invite-only panfandom game set in a retro-futuristic world where uprooted souls find themselves deep within an eerie wasteland of roads and highways frequently assailed by cosmic storms. Three united strongholds keep the population. Its capital is Panorama, a large metropolis at the planet's center.
Soon, you realize you aren't alone. Calling themselves fluxdrifts, the "locals" have similar stories to you, either for themselves or their ancestry. You speak to an old woman who claims she hailed from another star. You meet a young man who says his great-great-grandfather knew a strange language everybody spoke "back home." As you explore, you stumble across a coin you recognize or your sister's locket. How did it get here? What does this mean? That's for you to discover.
But first, you need to find a ride.
Soon, you realize you aren't alone. Calling themselves fluxdrifts, the "locals" have similar stories to you, either for themselves or their ancestry. You speak to an old woman who claims she hailed from another star. You meet a young man who says his great-great-grandfather knew a strange language everybody spoke "back home." As you explore, you stumble across a coin you recognize or your sister's locket. How did it get here? What does this mean? That's for you to discover.
But first, you need to find a ride.
No invites needed to play on the TDM. Everyone's welcome! Use the Invite Request thread below to request an invite from another player.
∞ Summary ∞
IC-wise, arrivals are scattered throughout the month. Events described on the TDM are also ongoing throughout the month. If you'd rather jump right into the action, you're free to begin in media res with your character having already been on the planet for several days.
Post-impact, characters will wake up in a med tent by the Scrapyard. From there, they must accept a vehicle on loan and make the 2-hour drive to the nearest city, Panorama. If they refuse the car because they don't want the loan, they'll be in debt for medical bills instead...so just take the car. It'll come in handy.
Some things to keep in mind when bringing in your character:
TDM threads can be canon if characters are accepted. Top-levels made to the TDM should be open to all.
Post-impact, characters will wake up in a med tent by the Scrapyard. From there, they must accept a vehicle on loan and make the 2-hour drive to the nearest city, Panorama. If they refuse the car because they don't want the loan, they'll be in debt for medical bills instead...so just take the car. It'll come in handy.
Some things to keep in mind when bringing in your character:
- Pick an injury. At minimum, they got knocked out; at most, whatever they can recover from. Medicine is decently advanced so they'll heal faster if not painlessly.
- Decide items kept. Reasonable items on their person only: photos, keys, clothes, costumes. No pets or animal companions. Wildly out-of-place tech and personal cell phones will be damaged beyond repair.
- Select a weapon. Do this only if eligible. Guidelines about weapons and powers are on the FAQ.
- Choose a vehicle. Decide whether your character gets 2-3 options or if they're stuck with something they hate. Players can pick directly from our collection or source their own images. Anything under a similar aesthetic will work. If your character needs accommodations for driving, they can have them. Ask us for details.
- Get a phone. Characters have to obtain a phone (and a SIM card) themselves. If they've got one from home, it's damaged beyond repair. Phones are cheap. It'll only take a couple of weeks to afford one. You need to know the number before you text or call anyone. Read about phones and the Forum before you hop on it.
TDM threads can be canon if characters are accepted. Top-levels made to the TDM should be open to all.
Fluxdrift
Arrival & Introduction
Date: Throughout May
You've tumbled over a cliff. You were fighting for your life. You're on the cusp of death. You slipped in the shower. Whatever the catalyst, you struggle to cling to consciousness. As darkness overtakes you, a swirling vortex warps light and shadow in a way that defies all physics. A dark wail etches into your very bones. You couldn't describe it if you tried. You can barely comprehend what it is.
Then you open your eyes.
Through the figure's mask ©, you swear the face is grinning down at you. The tent you're in smells of antiseptic, and scratchy blankets line your cot. Injuries you've sustained have been bandaged. In the corner, you spot a MedBot that's fixed you up. Depending on the extent of your injuries, the doctor on duty might give you some painkillers before you go. Thankfully, your belongings are by the exit. Sorry if anything's damaged. Your landing was pretty rough.
You follow the figure outside. They are Yom Crook, here to lend a hand to fellow fluxdrifts like yourself. Their car's parked beside them. Actually, there are lots of cars around, but Yom Crook's stands out with its painted shark mouth. They explain they found you, unconscious, in a diffusion zone and brought you here. The nearest city is a 2-hour drive northeast. Forget about walking. You'll never make it. Also, you owe the doctor a lot of money for patching you up. But you're in luck: they've got some wheels for you and if you accept the vehicle on loan, Yom Crook will cover your medical bills. That's a good deal, right? It's not the shiniest car or motorcycle, but it'll do. If fortune favors, you'll get to choose between two or three options. Plus, if you need accommodations to drive—like adjustments to your seat height or modified controls—you'll receive all that for free.
Take the vehicle. (And the loan.) Yom Crook assures you that you'll have six months before collectors come around. Any time you're ready to pay a part of it down, return here to the Scrapyard. You'll get a receipt and everything. Paying off the loan in six months isn't impossible, but it will take a lot of work. Just don't get too lax. There's a good chance you'll be juggling multiple loans as you try to get by.
You either know how to drive, or you'll have a bare-bones manual to get you started. Road rules are more a suggestion than enforced, so just hit the pedal and go. The car has some basic features. The built-in compass will help you navigate.
Through the figure's mask ©, you swear the face is grinning down at you. The tent you're in smells of antiseptic, and scratchy blankets line your cot. Injuries you've sustained have been bandaged. In the corner, you spot a MedBot that's fixed you up. Depending on the extent of your injuries, the doctor on duty might give you some painkillers before you go. Thankfully, your belongings are by the exit. Sorry if anything's damaged. Your landing was pretty rough.
You follow the figure outside. They are Yom Crook, here to lend a hand to fellow fluxdrifts like yourself. Their car's parked beside them. Actually, there are lots of cars around, but Yom Crook's stands out with its painted shark mouth. They explain they found you, unconscious, in a diffusion zone and brought you here. The nearest city is a 2-hour drive northeast. Forget about walking. You'll never make it. Also, you owe the doctor a lot of money for patching you up. But you're in luck: they've got some wheels for you and if you accept the vehicle on loan, Yom Crook will cover your medical bills. That's a good deal, right? It's not the shiniest car or motorcycle, but it'll do. If fortune favors, you'll get to choose between two or three options. Plus, if you need accommodations to drive—like adjustments to your seat height or modified controls—you'll receive all that for free.
Take the vehicle. (And the loan.) Yom Crook assures you that you'll have six months before collectors come around. Any time you're ready to pay a part of it down, return here to the Scrapyard. You'll get a receipt and everything. Paying off the loan in six months isn't impossible, but it will take a lot of work. Just don't get too lax. There's a good chance you'll be juggling multiple loans as you try to get by.
You either know how to drive, or you'll have a bare-bones manual to get you started. Road rules are more a suggestion than enforced, so just hit the pedal and go. The car has some basic features. The built-in compass will help you navigate.
OPTIONAL PROMPTS: a flat tire; a body on the road (is it a trap?); a fender bender
Panorama
Explore & Settle In
Conditions: Warm spring temperatures, light showers
After 2 hours on the road, you find civilization. The largest of the strongholds, Panorama is where the economy thrives. Massive power plants glowing red make it visible from a distance. The city is divided into three districts. For now, you can access the Pavilion and the Blocks. Don't worry about the Sanctum; they're not letting you in.
You only need to know two things about Panorama: 1) it's big, the size of a modern metropolis, and you'll need your car to get around; 2) anything goes as long as you don't pick a fight with the wrong person. Street smarts will get you far. Despite its geographical size, the population isn't huge. With roughly a million people in a city designed for over twice that number, Panorama is far from deserted, but nor is it overcrowded. It's a good thing. Resources are limited as it is.
You only need to know two things about Panorama: 1) it's big, the size of a modern metropolis, and you'll need your car to get around; 2) anything goes as long as you don't pick a fight with the wrong person. Street smarts will get you far. Despite its geographical size, the population isn't huge. With roughly a million people in a city designed for over twice that number, Panorama is far from deserted, but nor is it overcrowded. It's a good thing. Resources are limited as it is.
The Pavilion: Free Samples
Like any large city, Panorama features a couple of supermarkets. The stock's not as consistent as a proper supermarket. On occasion, shelves can remain cleaned out for a week or two. Regardless, the long tradition of free samples remains. If you're not already shopping, you'll notice the crowded parking lot and clusters of lines inside.
Try samples, push through the crowds as you shop, or give yourself a five-finger discount. If you're cautious, you can pocket a few small items without consequences. The Pavillion doesn't have the infrastructure for surveillance; unless someone sees you, you won't be caught. Steal from the store or pilfer someone's wallet. Maybe you even make a new friend if you bump into another fluxdrift. Or, start a fight with somebody who cut you off in the cheese line. Don't make too much of a ruckus, or you'll be thrown out.
As you look around, you'll see posters advertising temporary positions for the cash register or graveyard shifts in the warehouse. Seems they might've lost several employees recently (how'd that happen?), which is good for you! It's just a 6-week position, but it'll get you on your feet. The city has temporary positions like this all over. Permanent ones are harder to come by when you're new.
Try samples, push through the crowds as you shop, or give yourself a five-finger discount. If you're cautious, you can pocket a few small items without consequences. The Pavillion doesn't have the infrastructure for surveillance; unless someone sees you, you won't be caught. Steal from the store or pilfer someone's wallet. Maybe you even make a new friend if you bump into another fluxdrift. Or, start a fight with somebody who cut you off in the cheese line. Don't make too much of a ruckus, or you'll be thrown out.
As you look around, you'll see posters advertising temporary positions for the cash register or graveyard shifts in the warehouse. Seems they might've lost several employees recently (how'd that happen?), which is good for you! It's just a 6-week position, but it'll get you on your feet. The city has temporary positions like this all over. Permanent ones are harder to come by when you're new.
Samples include: steamed cabbage dumplings, synthetic cherry juice, cheddar cheese, and chocolate-covered alien eggs (it's crunchy and weirdly tasty). They're served in the usual throwaway paper cups with little toothpicks.
The Blocks: Power Outage
Power's finicky in Panorama, especially in the Blocks. Saint Margery's Hospital, located in the same area, has priority for power so the first to go are the motels. Maybe you've been in your room for a couple of weeks, maybe you just got here—and by the way, every motel desk is happy to put the fee on your tab if you don't have the money upfront—but all the motels on the east side are in a blackout, leaving only the west side motels up and running.
What do you do? You have three choices:
What do you do? You have three choices:
- Risk leaving your room and head to the other side where there's power. Knock on some doors and negotiate with another to share the room. They might shut the door in your face, ask for a favor in return, or be nice enough to help you with no strings attached. There's no guarantee your unattended room will be untouched, though, and you'll be on the hook for any damages an intruder causes.
- Sit in the dark and deal. It's not the worst idea, but the TV's down, the vending machines are powered down, and with the entire place plunged into darkness, you risk getting robbed. If you struggle with defending yourself, you might want to find some trustworthy company. You can also sneak out of there and let them take your leftover pizza. It's not like you've got a ton of valuables, right? Plus, clobbering someone in the face with a frying pan sounds great until you realize you've gotta do something with the body. And what if this person's got a friend waiting?
- Get in your car and drive (or grab a friend for a road trip). If you scroll the Forum, you might notice reports on diffusion zones southward. Besides, these motels are hardly your forever home. The city can only provide so much. Why not go for a ride and see what you can find out there?
OPTIONAL PROMPTS: clean up on aisle 3 (what is that goo?); a knock at your door but no one's there; you hear screaming or a commotion down the hall
The Fringes
Quad 3: Lockdown
Conditions: Stormy, with flooding roads
Felix Bjurstrom
> Date: 125-05-17
> Time: 02:15:57
> Emergency road lights have been reported in Quadrant 3! Please, can someone go see what's there? When last we chasers investigated emergency lights, a whole truck filled with sour candy had tipped over. Our stores were stocked for weeks! Oh, be careful - reception looks bad in that zone.
> Date: 125-05-17
> Time: 02:15:57
> Emergency road lights have been reported in Quadrant 3! Please, can someone go see what's there? When last we chasers investigated emergency lights, a whole truck filled with sour candy had tipped over. Our stores were stocked for weeks! Oh, be careful - reception looks bad in that zone.
Through the open windows, a computer awakens and displays a cheerful smile. The lights inside switch on.
Pick your scenario role below. Your thread partner doesn't need to take the opposite role! They can join you in the same scenario (i.e. trapped together). Players are also free to create a generic NPC for the other side to facilitate the thread.
After characters escape, they'll find one bottle of antibiotics in their pocket or car, whether they remember taking it or not.
After characters escape, they'll find one bottle of antibiotics in their pocket or car, whether they remember taking it or not.
A: Sealed In
As you peer through the windows, you see crates of medicine floating around. Antibiotics in the diadem are valuable. Hospitals and doctors are always buying. You can keep it for yourself or make a quick buck. Or maybe you're compelled to help somebody back in the city who's in need. Whatever the reason, you decide to take the risk and step inside.
Water splashes around your ankles. The lock buzzes behind you. If you try to break the windows, you discover they're unnaturally resistant to shattering. With the whole place locked tight, the water begins to churn. Then the computer lights up again.
Warning, it flashes in large, bold text. Quarantine in progress. Release code required for exit.
- To find the code, you'll have to search. Duck under the water, go through sopping envelopes and sticky notes or pick the locks on the filing cabinets and desk drawers. You can also try hacking the computers. Use your computer knowledge or fall back on the age-old trick of seeing who wrote down their password.
- The files, notepads, and emails start innocuous, but as you look through them, disturbing phrases jump out at you—a dark thought you've had or a cruel taunt from someone in your past. The longer you're fixed on the terrible words, the higher the water begins to rise. Only another can break you out of your trance.
- With the rising water comes fear. And the more you're afraid, the more the water also rises. You begin to see faces in the water, bobbing like balloon heads. Do you recognize them? If you move to take a closer look, they will sink back beneath the surface as if never there.
- If you manage to swallow your panic, you can eventually find a triple-laminated binder with the release code and instructions. Bad news: you need someone on the outside to punch in the 6 strange symbols in order. The instructions explain that the code panel is located at the back of the building.
B: Set Free
As you peer through the windows, you see not just the crates of medicine but someone trapped inside. They look like they might be in trouble, and from your vantage point, you notice that the water is bubbling strangely. It's definitely not normal rainwater. As you watch, the water rises unnaturally, stopping and starting. It's as if the water level is responding to an external stimulus.
- The glass is soundproof. You can't hear what the person inside is saying, so you'll have to communicate with each other another way. Try charades, typing on your phone, or whatever you think of. Eventually, you determine that they're stuck and that you need to enter some sort of code onto a pad located—according to your trapped partner—at the back of the building.
- Around the back, shadows swallow your surroundings. The panel must be pried open, but a slippery substance makes it hard to get a good grip. Each time the substance touches you, you grow uneasy. You swear you see eyes watching you, though when you turn around, nothing's there.
- You can't seem to keep the instructions in your mind. And those symbols...they burn into your retinas. Through them, you glimpse an incomprehensibly massive figure unfurling in the darkness, pulsing as if in a deep sleep. When you snap back to reality, you realize you've injured yourself, slicing your hand on a sharp edge or a bruise you can't remember getting.
- Once you manage to release the doors, the water inside the office drains upward into the sky as though sucked out by a giant hose. The darkness spreads. Get out of there fast before the shadows drag you or your partner into the void.
Main Navigation ::: ⇅
Top
Deadpool | XMCU
THE BLOCKS: POWER OUTAGE
FRINGES: QUAD 3: THE QUADDENING
quaddening, but also wildcard bc you can't stop me.
Yeah, he came to check out the notice posted. Not that he trusts it; doesn't mean he won't go see what's going on, either. A building, looks like, lights on but nobody around. He's pretty sure, at least, until he steps closer and a shadow moves through a row of blocky computers. Old. The kinda shit you'd find in libraries thirty years ago. The water's not high enough to drown them yet, but it looks like it's rising, and there's a figure he can't quite make out far in the back.
He tugs on the handle. It doesn't budge. Won't even creak under his strength.
Don't see that every day.
His hand presses against the glass. He's not breaking it down yet. Experience tells him there's a good chance whoever's inside might need to be kept inside. Out here, who the hell can say.
Instead, he knocks, pounding twice in the door. ] Hey! Who's in there?
it's true, I can't
But that hey? You think he hasn't been hearing twenty years of that hey? He knows exactly who that is. Undeniable. Of course that fucker's here with him.
There's two decisions in his mental droplist:
1. He goes, hey, Logan, it's me! Your bestie! Your favourite roommate who isn't blind! And they have a cool, dramatic reunion, even though they're rehashing at least the cinematic ending of their last movie.
Or,
2. He pretends to drown harder.
Yeah, that's the one he's going for. Hell, it's barely even a choice! Wade wades through the water until he's pressed up to the glass of the window, banging on it as he "struggles" with the rising water. And honestly, some of it does get in his mouth and he starts choking a little, which helps, what with the coughing and the holding his throat and half yelling a "help!" which dies at the end.
Look, if you're gonna fool the theatre kid, you gotta go hard.]
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1/2
2/2
fluxdrift
Unfortunately, that's not what's happening here. Some sort of backwards scam to get people to buy into cars and then what? He's not waiting around to find out. (Unbeknownst to him, the idiot he's about to encounter had almost the same idea but with apparently less candor. Which is a low bar considering it's Joel Miller, here.)
Still, the truck works and if he's going to make use of some supplies, he'll head to the damn city. Then...wherever else he needs to go. (Wherever the hell this actually is. He knows that she's not here...and he's not sure if that's for the best or not. Ellie can handle herself. Sort of. But he needs to know she's safe. He needs to make sure she's safe.)
It's an empty road for the most part, until he starts seeing something else up ahead. Joel squints to see...someone. Joel slows down only just a little to get a better look...
It's a weirdo. With a tire. In a mask? Waving him down.
Yeah, no.
Joel promptly pushes down on the accelerator to drive past, shaking his head. ]
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Now, Wade could let this injustice stand. But honestly, even he's gotten tired of being thrown into a place he didn't even infiltrate the TVA to get into. And the sand. And the -- the flat tire of it all.
Wade shoves his pants back on, getting a running start when he hears the engine growl with the accelerator, clapping his hands together.] Geronimo, motherfucker!
[He throws his entire body at the passing windshield, splatting against it like a oiled-up seagull. He bangs on the window.] You really gonna drive right by a cancer survivor, buddy? You monster!
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fluxdrift
Bull$#!& you were ever in the Scouts.
[ Okay, maybe she can actually swear now that she's not stuck in a comic book available for all ages, but the self-censorship has become a bit of a habit for Gwen. Weird how she's able to do it out loud, though...
The pink-lensed eyes of her mask narrow as she stares Wade down. ]
Hang on, you're not Wade... Well, I mean, you're clearly Wade, but you're not Wade-Wade.
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What in the high school plagiarism is this? [And wow, you don't know his backstory, girlie. There's a lot of intricacies that most minds are not privy to, especially since he only got an origin story, not a prequel.
If he wasn't staring at the fanfic OC do not steal version of himself, he'd probably even be a little impressed at the out-loud censorship. As it is, his white lenses narrow right back. Yes, he's still holding his pants. He's not putting them back on.
Oh. Another variant, huh? Seriously, it's gonna drive a guy's self-esteem wild to keep finding out there's a pocket full of Deadpools just hanging around, even if this one looks like someone drew her in the margins of a My Little Pony coloring book.] Uh, I'm the Wade, actually. Like. The prime one. Hello, look up about three inches. It's right there. [The username wasn't taken for a reason.] We both know how Disney feels about knock-offs.
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the blocks
He comes to stand in front of the window, as if he's unaware that it puts Wade crotch height to him. The request for assistance just rolls right past him like a tumbleweed. Despite all of this, he's not displeased to see Wade. Probably one of the few potential familiar faces he could work with. Has worked with. They did an okay job.
Still.]
You're letting the air out.
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Wait. Not a chance in hell he'd mistake Oldboy himself's voice, even if it's been, you know. Shaky hands. Years. And not that he was expecting Cable's next line to him to be the sexiest little ditty, but he sure as shit would hope for something a little better than "you're letting the air out."
Sort of something like, "Why the fuck didn't you call me for the threequel, asshole?" Look, there was a mix-up with the agents, he lost his phone, Shatterstar was cheaper, blah blah blah.]
Cable! Tell me this is a convenient meet-up in a brand new medium and not you being pissed about the timeline montage? [Is he selling himself out immediately? Yeah. You be face-to-face with the Terminator's T-1000 and see how you feel.] Totally not my idea, by the way, that's on Negs. Seriously, teenagers. You can't trust them with anything. Just wanna stick their little fingers in --
[He's still stuck in the window, and now he's starting to crush his dick, but Wade still sucks in a breath to smell -- cold.] Wait a second, which HVAC guy did you have to blow to still have AC on in here?
[Not a chance in hell he's leaving now! They're like, best buddies! Before he was replaced with a different best buddy who had his name in the title! And best buddies share the best air. Like, are Cable's lungs even fleshy anymore? He doesn't even need it, probably.]
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the blocks
Setting down the one bag he has on, Scott crosses his arms over his chest, brows creasing as he watches this display. After a beat or two, he responds with a flat, ]
No.
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Wade gasps, one leg shoved in through the window and the other still lodged outside where he clearly couldn't get any further traction from his sword hilt getting stuck on the frame. Had he the hands, they would be clapping to his face.
Early 2000's James Marsden? Oh, now we're in a written format, suddenly we got the appropriate Disneybucks for better (and younger) cameos?]
Well, well, well. Look who came crawling back after Sonic. Not quite the winning franchise you thought it was gonna be, huh? [His front leg wiggles and the window begins to groan as he starts using force to push himself through. The window's gonna break way sooner than his adamantium sword will.] Of all the windows to go through, you should be feelin' lucky it's yours, gorgeous. [Because of the Disneybucks coming his way, obviously.] Now either you help me through or you're gonna have a drafty new hole in the wall, and I'm gonna make sure they're grillin' up stinky tofu under your place all night.
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we can wrap this up here :>
fluxdrift
So, she rolls down the window of her shitty pizza delivery car, giving him a flat look. ]
You know, you could've convinced me of that without taking your pants off, old man...
[ She's no stranger to scarring of all kinds... so her eyes don't linger on the shriveled marks for long, more interested in giving his masked face an unimpressed look. ]
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Though considering the smell when she rolls down the window isn't pizza, it's seeming like it's a loaner and not one that's got the real goods.
Nothing in life is fuckin' free, huh? You're lucky he's catching that old man comment on the shoulder!]
Hey, hey, hey, kid, don't put this on me! This was a chance for self-censorship. [He says as he starts putting his pants back on, hopping on one leg. Okay, he's not a complete piece of shit; if she's just workin' a shit job, he's not gonna rip her out of the car. Yet.] You got a spare donut in this thing's tetanus trunk?
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the blocks: power outage
...Bro. There’s a door.
[ He doesn’t help. Not at first. He watches Wade twist and mutter about hips and breakfast sandwiches and swords, raising one eyebrow and sitting up so he can grab his shitty corner-store iced coffee off the cheap nightstand, taking a sip. The sword clinks against the sill, getting stuck. ]
Jesus. Okay.
[ Watching the struggle is quickly losing its entertainment value. He pushes himself up off the mattress with a huff, taking his time to step over to the window. He gives the hilt a push with one palm and pulls at Wade's bicep with the other hand, grunting before Wade finally tumbles inside the room. His day's been so weird that nothing fazes him anymore. ]
There, you lived. Miraculous. [ He deadpans, reaching to shut the window behind Wade. ] You owe me, man. Least you could’ve done is come through with a pizza or somethin'. [ He speaks as he steps backwards to the bed, sinking down on the edge of it again. He picks up his iced coffee for another slurp, unbothered. ] So, you always like this, or is today special?
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It's about the time when the glass starts whining from how hard Wade's about to push himself through that the bum finally gets up and helps.
And with an unsatisfying amount of groaning, he and his sword make it through where he hops down on his feet, brushing himself off and looking around.] Nice digs. [You know, for a cheap motel. His head whips back to the window, then back to the room's temporary owner.] And what shape you think the pizza would be in after that? Come on! You can get a fresh one with less groin strain. [He might've pulled a muscle. Lucky it basically heals instantly!
And then Wade goes and finds the nearest bag to start looking in it. Yeah, he has zero concept of the rules of being a guest, especially post break-in. No worries, this is only like the third room he's done it to. And considering he's gotten through with only one mild stabbing, he's doing pretty well.] Oh, this is like, my whole thing. [He gestures to his head with one hand and keeps digging through shit with the other.] You got a carton on you? A single pack? Hell, I'll even take the shittiest weed you've got at this point. Easy trade, I'll kill your neighbor who's been beatboxing for the last four hours. Seriously, how do you sleep through that?
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fringes quaddening
Aaaand yet somehow, he found himself at this shady-ass office building that looked super haunted as shit. With no reception. Fuck his stupid life. With no backup and definitely no help on the way, he’s taking no risks right now - recon, in and out. Figure out what, or who, is in there.
He’s rounding a corner when he hears buzzing. The kind that usually accompanies alarms. The red flashing lights really add to the urgency too. Did something happen—? Without really thinking, his legs start running in the direction of potential danger, something he could curse himself for later. When he reaches the window and peers inside…
…wait a second. He knows that costume.
Not from any personal involvement, thank god. But this disgrace has definitely made the news before. Not to mention being pretty damn infamous back when Kaine was in the killer for hire line of work.
He scowls with his Peter Parker-looking face (ignore the part where that face is attached to a grizzled hardass of a man who is both bigger and beefier than Spider-man) and takes a step back.]
Oh, hell no.
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But whether that is the case completely remains to be seen, because his dedication to pretending to drown the moment any passerby looks through the (shockingly clean) front window of this office is still intact, even now.
Hold up, is that a Chad Spider-Man?
Now, Wade's no secret lip-reader, but even he's seen that reaction enough to know exactly what's being said. And maybe he had some mild practice in the various situations where he's been stuck in tubes with little windows in which to peek upon the villain that was currently sucking the oxygen out of his lungs. It actually only happened once, but still. It bears mentioning.
Shit, was that trauma-dumping?
Wade stops his flailing to go up to the window, turning this and that way as he examines that face, like the specific brand of cat déjà vu Keanu Reeves couldn't handle. Now it's itching into Wade's brain too, until he raises a hand, wrist up and facing the world, and makes a little jerking motion while mouthing a sound similar to "ppsueew". He then draws a wet question mark on the window.
This. This has definitely been a fantasy of his before, but since Queen Elizabeth and several firefighters aren't also here, he might still be in reality.]
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quaddening!!!
For now— it's the water splashing up against the window that catches her attention at first, the innate wrongness of the sight calling her over. Call it morbid curiosity or something else — but usually flood water ends up on the outside of buildings, and whatnot. The water out on the sidewalk is nowhere near the height that's inside, and something's not adding up ( it's splashing at about her ankles, which is high enough already; but in there? Well— ).
The bright red of a masked man drowning comes a little after that. ]
Gods! [ Lucina's rushing to the door, rattling at the handle to see if it'll open. When that doesn't work, she's going straight for her sword, her grip backwards from how she'd normally wield it, all so that she can raise it above her shoulder and slam the pommel of her sword to the glass, hard. It bounces right back off, but the impact rings through the store. ]
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However, Wade is still dedicated to the jape.
It's still entertaining. And he still doesn't have much to do until the rain lets up a little and he can drive without filling his car with water. And fucking fish again. Did anyone mention fish sometimes fall out of the sky? No. There should be more signs about that.
So he's pretending to drown, stopping only to watch the newest victim try beating the door with -- is that a sword? Oh, yeah, that is distinctly the sound of someone trying to break shatterproof glass with the pommel of a sword.
Ask him how he knows.]
You're doing great, honey! Just, maybe -- you know, keep beating it, I'm sure it's gonna break sometime. [Man, what the fuck do they build the windows out here with? He mouths at the window, but also with a hand around his throat, so it sends a confusing message:] Do you wanna just come in? We love company around here!
[He kind of feels bad. She's really trying.]
i posted the comment even before i finished the tag please love me
I know this and I love you
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quaddening
As such, there is some interest in checking the other rooms as well. Just to make sure...
And, lo and behold, there is a rather suspicious figure frantically almost...frolicking about in the water. G'raha guesses this must be due to some deep-seated fear of water, as the water-like substitute is nary a few ilms off the floor. Still, far be it from him to judge others for their phobias. The threat of drowning in an enclosed space is one that would put anyone off their game.
Though the head slam against the window makes him jump back a pace, ears flattening against his head. He waves, trying to get the masked man's attention. Help as arrived!
Meow. ]no subject
At least the office is roomy in comparison.
For a second, Wade's dizzy enough to completely believe he's the one who's imagining the big, flickering things on top of his latest
sucker'ssaviour's head. It's hardly the first time; though right now he's missing his usual little glowing unicorns, and the new reoccuring sausages with legs and suspiciously creepy beards. But nothing's impaling his brain at the moment, and his pockets are stuffed with a shitload of medications, sure, but not any fun ones --He looks again, pressed to the glass. Those. Those are unmistakable.] Holy shit! I've always dreamed about being saved by a quasi-furry! [He presses his hands to the glass, as if he's gonna have a full Neverending Story moment beyond the pages.] It won't be beastiality if we kiss on-screen, you beautiful little puddy-tat. With tongue.
[It's a shame G'raha can't hear this. But don't worry. He'll say it again later.]
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power outage
there are candles in her room (because it's been way too many of these power outages for her to not be prepared), which is why she can see the man trying to sneak in through her window.
maybe she should worry, but he looks so ridiculous— )
I'm not doing any of that.
( she answers cooly, hand at her side already doing a series of stiff motions with her fingers to keep him stuck, unable to move back or forward. )
You have 15 seconds.
( —to explain, until she makes her way to the window to knock him out. )
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Wade tries wiggling. And he's... not moving.
And he definitely knows that voice.]
Hee-eey! You'll never believe it, but I'm here to check the power meter. Can you fathom how bad these blackouts must be for the profit margins, huh? We're so bad at our jobs. [Yeah, this is not working.] I'm digging the vibes. Full on "witch, please," I totally get it, if you need a partner for a seance or a little virgin blood sacrifice, I'm your guy. Did I mention this is my first meeting with a witch? [He tries moving again with a groan. This is so embarrassing. And in front of an ex-Avenger? (Debatable?)] Please don't kill me, I'm a big fan.
[Who else did fourth wall as good as him? It sure as shit wasn't Ant-Man. Okay, admittedly, he wasn't into the sequels, maybe it got better.] Not as big a fan of your sisters on Full House, absolute laugh riot -- okay, okay, you had to be there, I admit, that sounds really weird even in context. [Wade clears his throat.] You're not gonna let me leave, are you.
[That was longer than 15 seconds, also.]
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sighs....fluxdrift
except... there's—
he has seen stranger, and he is always willing to help. it doesn't really help that he gets the clutch and change of gear wrong, and stalls the engine to a stop. )
Merde— ( he mutters to himself, then looks out the window at the very-red-man. but, alright, his problems come second right now.
he calls out, ) Are you alright?
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Power Outage
They almost chalk up the noises from the window to just the TV, or the AC under the window acting up. Enough to wake them, but not enough to get them opening their eyes or reacting. They just shift in bed as they try to force themself back to sleep. But the noise gets worse, until it's clear something is wrong.
Jolting up in bed to look at the window, they get more of a shock than they anticipated, and for half a second, they wonder if they're still asleep.
There, half stuck in the frame, was what looked like...a...superhero? What kind of a burglar dressed in a bright red, skin-tight onesie?
They should have just run out of here while the guy was stuck. They kept most of their money in their truck, and it's not like they couldn't replace what meager possessions they had in the room. Let this dude have the half-eaten Chinese food in the mini fridge and the single magazine in the nightstand. Big whoop.
But rationalizing that would have taken some amount of forethought, and Keni and forethought had never been very good friends. Instead, the kid instinctively scrambles out of bed, grabbing the wooden bat by the nightstand, and storming over to the window.
The guy starts talking when he notices Keni, asking for help getting in, as if he'd been invited and just preferred to use the window over the door. He sounds so casual about this break-in that it throws the kid off for a moment, and they can only stand there looking the guy over like they're trying to figure out if they did somehow know him. The voice wasn't recognizable, but they'd never been great at remembering voices, and it could be anyone in that getup. Still, they weren't about to just trust that the masked man with a sword trying to break into their room was well-intentioned. Gripping the bat, they hold it at the ready.
They wanted to scream at the guy. Tell him to get out, or demand to know who he was or why he was here. But they find that they just can't. Nerves once again took their voice, but that wasn't going to make them back down. Tightening their grip on the bat, they hold it about as threateningly as a 5'1" scrawny teenager who's backlit by a tv showing some old sitcom, possibly could.
Just ignore the badly timed canned laughter coming from the TV, please ]
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