TEST DRIVE ∞ May 2025

[thediadem]

Test Drive ∞ May 2025

The First Collision

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Jump ⇅ :: Arrival — Panorama — Fringes — Invite Request

The Diadem is an invite-only panfandom game set in a retro-futuristic world where uprooted souls find themselves deep within an eerie wasteland of roads and highways frequently assailed by cosmic storms. Three united strongholds keep the population. Its capital is Panorama, a large metropolis at the planet's center.

Soon, you realize you aren't alone. Calling themselves fluxdrifts, the "locals" have similar stories to you, either for themselves or their ancestry. You speak to an old woman who claims she hailed from another star. You meet a young man who says his great-great-grandfather knew a strange language everybody spoke "back home." As you explore, you stumble across a coin you recognize or your sister's locket. How did it get here? What does this mean? That's for you to discover.

But first, you need to find a ride.

No invites needed to play on the TDM. Everyone's welcome! Use the Invite Request thread below to request an invite from another player.

∞ Summary ∞

IC-wise, arrivals are scattered throughout the month. Events described on the TDM are also ongoing throughout the month. If you'd rather jump right into the action, you're free to begin in media res with your character having already been on the planet for several days.

Post-impact, characters will wake up in a med tent by the Scrapyard. From there, they must accept a vehicle on loan and make the 2-hour drive to the nearest city, Panorama. If they refuse the car because they don't want the loan, they'll be in debt for medical bills instead...so just take the car. It'll come in handy.

Some things to keep in mind when bringing in your character:

• Pick an injury. At minimum, they got knocked out; at most, whatever they can recover from. Medicine is decently advanced so they'll heal faster if not painlessly.
• Decide items kept. Reasonable items on their person only: photos, keys, clothes, costumes. No pets or animal companions. Wildly out-of-place tech and personal cell phones will be damaged beyond repair.
• Select a weapon. Do this only if eligible. Guidelines about weapons and powers are on the FAQ.
• Choose a vehicle. Decide whether your character gets 2-3 options or if they're stuck with something they hate. Players can pick directly from our collection or source their own images. Anything under a similar aesthetic will work. If your character needs accommodations for driving, they can have them. Ask us for details.
• Get a phone. Characters have to obtain a phone (and a SIM card) themselves. If they've got one from home, it's damaged beyond repair. Phones are cheap. It'll only take a couple of weeks to afford one. You need to know the number before you text or call anyone. Read about phones and the Forum before you hop on it.

TDM threads can be canon if characters are accepted. Top-levels made to the TDM should be open to all.

TDM Questions? Here — Game Questions? FAQ

Setting — Taken — Reserves — Applications ::: ⇅ Top

Fluxdrift

Arrival & Introduction

Date: Throughout May

You've tumbled over a cliff. You were fighting for your life. You're on the cusp of death. You slipped in the shower. Whatever the catalyst, you struggle to cling to consciousness. As darkness overtakes you, a swirling vortex warps light and shadow in a way that defies all physics. A dark wail etches into your very bones. You couldn't describe it if you tried. You can barely comprehend what it is.

Then you open your eyes.

Through the figure's mask ©, you swear the face is grinning down at you. The tent you're in smells of antiseptic, and scratchy blankets line your cot. Injuries you've sustained have been bandaged. In the corner, you spot a MedBot that's fixed you up. Depending on the extent of your injuries, the doctor on duty might give you some painkillers before you go. Thankfully, your belongings are by the exit. Sorry if anything's damaged. Your landing was pretty rough.

You follow the figure outside. They are Yom Crook, here to lend a hand to fellow fluxdrifts like yourself. Their car's parked beside them. Actually, there are lots of cars around, but Yom Crook's stands out with its painted shark mouth. They explain they found you, unconscious, in a diffusion zone and brought you here. The nearest city is a 2-hour drive northeast. Forget about walking. You'll never make it. Also, you owe the doctor a lot of money for patching you up. But you're in luck: they've got some wheels for you and if you accept the vehicle on loan, Yom Crook will cover your medical bills. That's a good deal, right? It's not the shiniest car or motorcycle, but it'll do. If fortune favors, you'll get to choose between two or three options. Plus, if you need accommodations to drive—like adjustments to your seat height or modified controls—you'll receive all that for free.

Take the vehicle. (And the loan.) Yom Crook assures you that you'll have six months before collectors come around. Any time you're ready to pay a part of it down, return here to the Scrapyard. You'll get a receipt and everything. Paying off the loan in six months isn't impossible, but it will take a lot of work. Just don't get too lax. There's a good chance you'll be juggling multiple loans as you try to get by.

You either know how to drive, or you'll have a bare-bones manual to get you started. Road rules are more a suggestion than enforced, so just hit the pedal and go. The car has some basic features. The built-in compass will help you navigate.

OPTIONAL PROMPTS: a flat tire; a body on the road (is it a trap?); a fender bender

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Panorama

Explore & Settle In

Conditions: Warm spring temperatures, light showers

After 2 hours on the road, you find civilization. The largest of the strongholds, Panorama is where the economy thrives. Massive power plants glowing red make it visible from a distance. The city is divided into three districts. For now, you can access the Pavilion and the Blocks. Don't worry about the Sanctum; they're not letting you in.

You only need to know two things about Panorama: 1) it's big, the size of a modern metropolis, and you'll need your car to get around; 2) anything goes as long as you don't pick a fight with the wrong person. Street smarts will get you far. Despite its geographical size, the population isn't huge. With roughly a million people in a city designed for over twice that number, Panorama is far from deserted, but nor is it overcrowded. It's a good thing. Resources are limited as it is.

The Pavilion: Free Samples

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Like any large city, Panorama features a couple of supermarkets. The stock's not as consistent as a proper supermarket. On occasion, shelves can remain cleaned out for a week or two. Regardless, the long tradition of free samples remains. If you're not already shopping, you'll notice the crowded parking lot and clusters of lines inside.

Try samples, push through the crowds as you shop, or give yourself a five-finger discount. If you're cautious, you can pocket a few small items without consequences. The Pavillion doesn't have the infrastructure for surveillance; unless someone sees you, you won't be caught. Steal from the store or pilfer someone's wallet. Maybe you even make a new friend if you bump into another fluxdrift. Or, start a fight with somebody who cut you off in the cheese line. Don't make too much of a ruckus, or you'll be thrown out.

As you look around, you'll see posters advertising temporary positions for the cash register or graveyard shifts in the warehouse. Seems they might've lost several employees recently (how'd that happen?), which is good for you! It's just a 6-week position, but it'll get you on your feet. The city has temporary positions like this all over. Permanent ones are harder to come by when you're new.

Samples include: steamed cabbage dumplings, synthetic cherry juice, cheddar cheese, and chocolate-covered alien eggs (it's crunchy and weirdly tasty). They're served in the usual throwaway paper cups with little toothpicks.

The Blocks: Power Outage

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Power's finicky in Panorama, especially in the Blocks. Saint Margery's Hospital, located in the same area, has priority for power so the first to go are the motels. Maybe you've been in your room for a couple of weeks, maybe you just got here—and by the way, every motel desk is happy to put the fee on your tab if you don't have the money upfront—but all the motels on the east side are in a blackout, leaving only the west side motels up and running.

What do you do? You have three choices:

• Risk leaving your room and head to the other side where there's power. Knock on some doors and negotiate with another to share the room. They might shut the door in your face, ask for a favor in return, or be nice enough to help you with no strings attached. There's no guarantee your unattended room will be untouched, though, and you'll be on the hook for any damages an intruder causes.
• Sit in the dark and deal. It's not the worst idea, but the TV's down, the vending machines are powered down, and with the entire place plunged into darkness, you risk getting robbed. If you struggle with defending yourself, you might want to find some trustworthy company. You can also sneak out of there and let them take your leftover pizza. It's not like you've got a ton of valuables, right? Plus, clobbering someone in the face with a frying pan sounds great until you realize you've gotta do something with the body. And what if this person's got a friend waiting?
• Get in your car and drive (or grab a friend for a road trip). If you scroll the Forum, you might notice reports on diffusion zones southward. Besides, these motels are hardly your forever home. The city can only provide so much. Why not go for a ride and see what you can find out there?

OPTIONAL PROMPTS: clean up on aisle 3 (what is that goo?); a knock at your door but no one's there; you hear screaming or a commotion down the hall

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©

The Fringes

Quad 3: Lockdown

Conditions: Stormy, with flooding roads

Felix Bjurstrom
> Date: 125-05-17
> Time: 02:15:57

> Emergency road lights have been reported in Quadrant 3! Please, can someone go see what's there? When last we chasers investigated emergency lights, a whole truck filled with sour candy had tipped over. Our stores were stocked for weeks! Oh, be careful - reception looks bad in that zone.

Whether you end up here on your own or you were following a tip on the Forum, the outcome is the same: you come to a stop in front of a 2-story office building that's flooded several inches deep. Emergency lights from a roadblock flicker through the stormy night. Stepping out of your car, you're soaked within seconds. When you check your phone, you don't have any bars. No calls in or out.

Through the open windows, a computer awakens and displays a cheerful smile. The lights inside switch on.

Pick your scenario role below. Your thread partner doesn't need to take the opposite role! They can join you in the same scenario (i.e. trapped together). Players are also free to create a generic NPC for the other side to facilitate the thread.

After characters escape, they'll find one bottle of antibiotics in their pocket or car, whether they remember taking it or not.

A: Sealed In
As you peer through the windows, you see crates of medicine floating around. Antibiotics in the diadem are valuable. Hospitals and doctors are always buying. You can keep it for yourself or make a quick buck. Or maybe you're compelled to help somebody back in the city who's in need. Whatever the reason, you decide to take the risk and step inside.

Water splashes around your ankles. The lock buzzes behind you. If you try to break the windows, you discover they're unnaturally resistant to shattering. With the whole place locked tight, the water begins to churn. Then the computer lights up again.

Warning, it flashes in large, bold text. Quarantine in progress. Release code required for exit.

• To find the code, you'll have to search. Duck under the water, go through sopping envelopes and sticky notes or pick the locks on the filing cabinets and desk drawers. You can also try hacking the computers. Use your computer knowledge or fall back on the age-old trick of seeing who wrote down their password.
• The files, notepads, and emails start innocuous, but as you look through them, disturbing phrases jump out at you—a dark thought you've had or a cruel taunt from someone in your past. The longer you're fixed on the terrible words, the higher the water begins to rise. Only another can break you out of your trance.
• With the rising water comes fear. And the more you're afraid, the more the water also rises. You begin to see faces in the water, bobbing like balloon heads. Do you recognize them? If you move to take a closer look, they will sink back beneath the surface as if never there.
• If you manage to swallow your panic, you can eventually find a triple-laminated binder with the release code and instructions. Bad news: you need someone on the outside to punch in the 6 strange symbols in order. The instructions explain that the code panel is located at the back of the building.

Let's hope a friendly face comes along.

B: Set Free
As you peer through the windows, you see not just the crates of medicine but someone trapped inside. They look like they might be in trouble, and from your vantage point, you notice that the water is bubbling strangely. It's definitely not normal rainwater. As you watch, the water rises unnaturally, stopping and starting. It's as if the water level is responding to an external stimulus.

• The glass is soundproof. You can't hear what the person inside is saying, so you'll have to communicate with each other another way. Try charades, typing on your phone, or whatever you think of. Eventually, you determine that they're stuck and that you need to enter some sort of code onto a pad located—according to your trapped partner—at the back of the building.
• Around the back, shadows swallow your surroundings. The panel must be pried open, but a slippery substance makes it hard to get a good grip. Each time the substance touches you, you grow uneasy. You swear you see eyes watching you, though when you turn around, nothing's there.
• You can't seem to keep the instructions in your mind. And those symbols...they burn into your retinas. Through them, you glimpse an incomprehensibly massive figure unfurling in the darkness, pulsing as if in a deep sleep. When you snap back to reality, you realize you've injured yourself, slicing your hand on a sharp edge or a bruise you can't remember getting.
• Once you manage to release the doors, the water inside the office drains upward into the sky as though sucked out by a giant hose. The darkness spreads. Get out of there fast before the shadows drag you or your partner into the void.

Of course, you don't have to help anyone. You can leave the individual there, make a deal, or outright extort them. But remember, you're not the only person on these roads. You might want to play your cards carefully, even if altruism isn't your first instinct.

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Comments

[churnback]

[ He definitely should have — maneuvered that a different way, his ribs are gonna hate him later. And he severely underestimated the weight of it, but he collects himself, takes a few breaths, wipes at the sweat on his brow, and gets them rolling. He comes down on two sides of this — he can play pretty well at being friendly, sometimes even a reasonable amount of talkative — depending on the situation. He's had to be good at reading situations and people fairly quickly since he was a kid, with the kind of world he grew up in. He's also had to learn to fit in places. But he's not about painting a pretty picture of himself or making himself look and seem like someone he's not. What you see is what you get with him, take it or leave it. It's just that he's very aware of how he is, what he holds inside, how he comes across, so sometimes he works a little harder at doing the opposite of what his first instinct might be.

They don't have to talk. In some way, maybe, there's not a lot to say exactly, except they're strangers and if you flip it, there's a whole lot to say. He's not motivated by the thought of conversation alone, not even motivated by the idea of getting to know her whole history, who she is, what she does, how she's feeling.

Some of it, he can already read on her face, in her eyes. Some of it — a lot of it — she'll hold close until and unless she's ready to give it away. And until that time, she can keep it all safe as long as she wants, he won't go knocking on doors that aren't his.

— what does motivate him to consider some degree of conversation is that so far, it seems to have done...something. He can't attribute "good" to any action he's taken up until now, but it got her in the jeep and they're going towards the unknown city together, and she's fiddling with the radio. It tells him she's a little more at ease, and he wants her to be. And maybe talking a little will keep her there, in a moment where she can just be whoever she wants to be, whoever she maybe hasn't been in a while. ]

Nah, see — worrying about what might happen, what does it do for me right now? Moment to moment, that's what we got. And this moment — [ He almost turns to look at her, but thinks better of it. Until he feels supremely confident with this thing, he'll keep his eyes straight ahead. Going forward is easy enough, at least. ] It's alright.

[ He doesn't have access to those feelings easily, feelings like fear and worry. He knows what they are, he remembers feeling them once more readily a very long time ago. And sure, he's been in situations — especially out in space — that got him on edge. None of them here expected to be here, wanted to be here, but they are, and his mind immediately switches to focusing on what he can do, what he can control, what he can learn about this place to deal with whatever shit might come at them. It's just he spends less time pondering what that shit could be. ] Doesn't mean I feel settled, though.

[ But he recognizes his feelings — or lack thereof — aren't universal. ]

You worried?

[carmesi]

( wanda ultimately wishes that she could be like how he presents himself, to find no reason to fidget with anxiety or to trouble herself with possible circumstances that have not yet come to pass, but which could. her whole life—,ever since she lost her parents and it was just herself and her brother—was one uncertainty after the other, and having a bomb crash into one's home without warning can leave any riddled with ptsd.

she breathes, quietly repeating his words, three whispered syllables, )

It's alright.

( because if she voices it, it'll become real. right now she doesn't have anyone she can hold on to, not with an exuberance of confidence in the action. wanda doesn't want to become anyone's burden.

they sit in silence as he drives, letting her eyes close for a moment as the breeze cools her—her face, around her neck, between the tresses of her long hair. she's still aware though, of the space, of his presence, of the music playing from the radio (unfamiliar to her), so when he speaks again, she opens her eyes and turns her head his way. seconds may have passed, but in her drowsy state, now that she's comfortable and feel safe in this very moment, it feels like it's been leagues of time between it's alright and his question. )

I guess... that I want to try purpose. ( she lightly lifts her hands, because it's no secret to her that he's seen this blue uniform that she's wearing and made the connection that she had been locked up before. ) I don't want to be judged for my past. Or make the same mistakes again.

( opportunity.

it worries her. )

[churnback]

[ There's a lot of time out in the black when it's just him and his thoughts, working on the fusion reactor, checking the air recyclers, fuel levels, torpedo launchers, PDC — all that goes into keeping them floating, and safe. The whole crew has their parts to play. And a lot of his work is solitary, but the minute he's around anyone, there's chatter, and it's not bad. In fact, he even kinda likes it; more than he did. And the absence of it now is — yeah.

But it's interesting with Wanda, the way they can talk a little and it's like they're speaking a language they both know, but if they stop talking, it doesn't feel weird or awkward the way it can get with some people, the way they feel like they gotta fill up the dead air. It can sort of just be with her, so far. It's an observation, that's all, but it's a thing he likes, too, maybe. Maybe.

When she gets quiet, he doesn't look over, just figures she might've drifted off. Hell, she looked like she needed it. Least he can do is keep his eyes ahead, keep it all steady for her. But then she speaks up again and what he hears from her is the kind of thing he hasn't thought about, at least, purpose. But the same mistakes — yeah, he gets that. He didn't think that way before, but he's been trying real hard to make choices on his own, choices that are good ones, the right ones.

If there's any part of him that has anything left in him to fear something, it's that — the feeling that he could make a choice that's the wrong one and hurt someone innocent. But she's got a whole world and a whole life behind her words. ]

You're probably gonna make them again. At first. It just happens. I mean, if you made 'em before, it came from somewhere in you and it doesn't just shut off right away, but ain't a reason to stop trying. Think you learn a little more each time you fuck up.

[ He shrugs a little, feeling like he's well aware his advice isn't the most helpful. ] You never really leave anything behind, but what you were and what you did, it can be different now.

[ It can be, is the thing. In his mind, he believes less in starting over, but more in just adapting. And he thinks that's what they can do here. ]

Purpose, like you said. [ The word sticks with him. Will stick with him. ] Haven't thought of it much.

[carmesi]

( it's entirely reassuring what amos says, but there's a real point to it. to wanda, it sounds like something steve might say, in that stern but soft voice of his, trying to be careful with her—something she always appreciated—in not making her feel like she was any trouble at all, despite how complicated things around her were.

maybe, much like him, the avengers she got closest to, perhaps they offered her very little because they didn't know how to help her. perhaps she was so broken, it was easier to give her something to do, a sense of purpose, to help keep those pieces together.

but all of that is gone.

amos's words, though, they make her laugh. a wet sort of tired laugh, like his words sprung forth memories that pulled an emotional weight enough to make her want to cry. but she doesn't cry, even if it feels like she might want to. )

Yeah, that sounds about right.

( all that he says, harsh as it may be, holds truth in her heart.

it's enough for a little bit of courage to bustle through, despite her cowardice in speaking about something like this. it makes her feel vulnerable, empty, so completely devoid of anything—

but the breeze is nice and the car drives steadily, and maybe this is what roadtrips are like, with music and quiet moments of reflection. she'd never know, but maybe she can pretend she does, and that makes her voice steady itself as she speaks. )

My brother was killed over a year ago. We... did everything together. The plans we made, where we'd stay the night, plans for meals. ( it's not dependence if all this was a necessity in a country that was without more than it was with. she swallows, wishes she had some water to drink. ) I thought I found purpose, before coming here, but it wasn't really...

( her voice quietens, not really finishing her sentence, if only because another thought, another emotion, takes precedence. )

I feel adrift without him.

( and perhaps part of those mistakes she made in the past include the guilt of pietro's death. )

[churnback]

[ Like so many of his emotions, Amos doesn't feel connected to grief the way most do, the way Wanda does. But he does feel it, he has felt it. Recently, in fact. It was why he'd gone back to Earth at all, because Lydia died. The closer he got to Earth, the more his throat burned, the more he was sure he was coming down with something. That had to be it. Except it wasn't any kind of sickness of the body, and he couldn't understand it, not at first.

It was grief. Fucking — lump in his throat, hurting like hell, making him want to lash out at anyone he could because it was all that made sense to him. Nothing about the feeling of loss was familiar, or anything he knew how to process, but he felt it all the same.

Did he feel adrift without her, without anyone? Has he ever? That's all tied to emotions and feelings, the things that are far away for him, that he struggles with.

But he listens to Wanda, he takes it all in. He would never have asked her, but now she's telling him, and he'll hear it. As long as he needs to. As long as she needs him to, maybe. ]

Shit.

[ He says it a little under his breath, though loud enough to still be heard probably, even over the hum of the radio. There's a lot in that one word, though, at least for him. He's not an "I'm sorry for your loss" kind of guy, nah, not for this. Not ever, really, but especially this. This is — shit, you had him your whole life, and he's gone, and so fucking now what? Losing Lydia was nothing like this. He's not sure he's ever felt a loss like this, never had family like that to start with, and never connected with anyone else only to lose them like that.

But if he did — he at least understands what he's hearing in her voice, he can interpret it, the different sounds in the air, the way her voice shifts and moves, the way she talks about him, the way she already seemed lost before she spoke about being adrift. ]

So he's gone, and you're stuck with it. The whole mess of it.

[ A life without him. ]

Was it just you and him and now it's just you?

[carmesi]

( ooc: sorry for the delay! it's been a trying week. if you'd rather wrap this up quick, or shelf this and jump into something new in the mingle, i'm good either way! )

( what can wanda say, to words that seem an echo of similar things she's heard before? she shrugs, ultimately, because there's nothing pleasant about talking about her dead brother, about how it makes her feel, how ruined life feels like, now. looking down at the blue of the prison uniform that adorn her arms and legs, she can't help but wonder where she went wrong—what she could do better.

if any of this matters at all now. )

Our parents were killed when we were kids. ( it seems petty, mechanical almost, how she says this exact phrase about her parents. but pietro and wanda never wanted anyone to forget that they didn't 'lose' their parents, that they were killed, and the twins robbed of them as children. that their streak of rebellion wasn't immature or unwarranted. ) We only ever had each other after that.

( a kind of trauma that bonds two people forever, more so the two of them for being twins. a connection so strong, so solid and stalwart, brought closer still by love and desperation.

wanda keeps her eyes closed tightly, as if trying to fend off tears. a few escape regardless, rolling down her cheeks. )

I miss him.

[churnback]

[ ooc: don't worry at all! I'm good to stick with this one as long as you're feeling it though also greedy and excited for more with them too so whatever vibes if this feels like a good wrap for now! ]

[ There's a lot to wonder about the kind of life she had before all this. Parents gone when she was young, she just had her brother, and whatever happened after they'd grown, she'd lost him too and she'd wound up in prison, and now...all of this.

Amos never knew his mother. There's a father out there somewhere, maybe, but he's never cared to know him. Wouldn't mean anything now. But the way Wanda talks about her brother, Amos tries for a long moment to feel it. It doesn't come easy to him, feeling what others are feeling. He has to really work at it, and the best he can do most of the time is just mimic what he thinks they must be feeling. But she's in this jeep with him going down a long road to a place neither of them know a fucking thing about, and whatever other shit there is, she just — misses her brother.

He can't be sure of the right thing most of the time, and maybe this ain't it, not even close. But he thinks about when Peaches reached for his hand in the prison, and she seemed to need it. He didn't understand how it could help, but it seemed to, and she wanted to hold his hand while she drifted off for a little while. Maybe it could help Wanda. Maybe it won't. He keeps the speed of the jeep steady, a little slower than he might normally because he's trying this one-handed for the first time and he takes it seriously to get Wanda safely to point B. He takes a chance, briefly glances over to catch her eyes closed, then looks back to the road. He doesn't want to startle her by tapping her, doesn't even want her to feel obligated if this just isn't the thing she needs or wants, but with his free hand, he reaches out, just holding it out in the air between them and softly murmuring — ]

Hey.

[carmesi]

( ooc: i'm down for that, too! ;w; i love them so much, kris... let's see how the vibes go in terms of tags here, but we can definitely push them together at the mingle, too! )

( wanda doesn't expect much from others when it comes to these inconsolable feelings about her brother. at times, she's felt that it's taken her 'too long' to grieve him; as if others want her to just be over it, move on to a new chapter of her life. but — how could they ever understand?

how could they ever understand the hole that remains in her soul, in her heart, ever since her brother died? every minute without him feels like a criminal act, and wanda can't find it in her to forgive herself. if there's a reason why she survived her parents, survived her brother, then what is it? would it not be better to just — die, too?

rotting in that cell seemed almost like the easiest way out of having to try at living.

hey.

it catches her by surprise, regardless of amos's intent, and her glancing over his way, at the offered hand. wanda stares at it for a really long time—seconds that seem eternal minutes—for this gesture wraps her into a significant roll of emotions, of weary contradictions.

and yet, she so tired. )

...

( wanda doesn't say anything, not a thanks, not anything, at all, as she brings up a hand up to join his, lets the cold she feels thaw away from the warmth she feels from this connection. amos would never know, how this is more than just a physical point of contact to her; his emotions, his thoughts, they're so — linear, so balanced, compared to her own. it makes her feel steady. in the same way that pietro would hold her face, hold her close, whenever she felt something too strong or painful through her powers, this, too, helps her feel safe—not quite in the same way, but similarly enough.

and while no thanks comes from her, amos will instead get— )

Sorry. I know this isn't... your problem.

( —an apology. )

[churnback]

[ ooc: perfect!! and i love them so much, too!! ]

[ This, at least, he's quick to respond to — ]

You're not a problem.

[ That's not exactly what she said, he knows, but to him it feels like a catch-all for whatever might be rooting around in her head. This isn't your problem, she said; the talk about her brother, her parents, what she's lost — all the this of it. But more than that, he just feels like she should know none of that and nothing about her — her past, what she did, what she didn't do, what she might do again that she hopes she doesn't — it's not a problem.

Hell, that could change, who knows. He doesn't tend to think far ahead, though, is the thing. He thinks about a moment he's in and what he needs to do then. Goes the same way if he's in that moment with someone. He takes people as they are in that moment, as long as they're sharing it together. When and if that changes, he'll adapt with it.

He figures as long as she needs his hand, he'll keep holding hers. He doesn't have a good sense of these things, he feels like; no good gauge for the kind of touch that can comfort. It's not something he's really ever known for himself or thought of. But then he briefly thinks back to Holden holding his face when he'd been blinded briefly, when he'd been the closest to afraid he'd been in decades, and how it steadied him. It can steady people — yeah, that's it. Steady. He'll just be steady again, long as she needs. ]

[carmesi]

( wanda is so very appreciative of him, how he allows himself to be an anchor for her grief and the pain she feels. he doesn't have to do any of this, and yet he does. they sit in the silence, interrupted now and then by bursts of music from the radio, the static disappearing the closer they get to the city.

she lets the words settle over her like a warm blanket—you're not a problem. wanda has felt like nothing but a problem, since pietro died, perhaps even before then. so, it's nice to hear; it helps. it's not a truth to herself, yet, but it does help.

when the comforting rumbling of the jeep stops, wanda stirs awake. when did she fall asleep? she glances about, her hand no longer in his. in her sleep, she must have pulled awake. despite feeling a little disoriented, wanda feels infinitely more herself, now that she's rested some. the city surrounds them, bright colors and lights, loud noises, the sound of a sleepless place. wanda unbuckles her seatbelt and follows the noise at the back of the jeep, of amos bringing her bike down. her face is still puffy from tears, and she's feeling a little... soft, vulnerable, but being around him makes her feel a little less of all that. )

Thank you, Amos.

( he didn't have to do all this for her.

uhm — she glances across the street, at a motel, few signs of 'vacancies' and other amenities available hanging from its side, including parking at the back. wanda points lamely at it. )

...I think I'll bring the bike over there. Get a room for the night.

[churnback]

[ Been a long time since he's seen a city like this. With the knowledge that he's staying here a while, that is, and like the rest of them — it ain't by choice. When Wanda drifts off, he settles his hands on the steering wheel, follows the lights, gets a little lost in thinking about where he was before all this. Right before. Things creaking and groaning and collapsing above him, and then just...this.

It's hard for him to pinpoint an emotion or feeling about it all, his general being so often is just existing. He's existed most of his life on one ship out in space or another. For a little while, he was existing back on Earth, and now he's here. So, he'll adapt.

They stop, park, she points to the motel, and he thinks — okay, yeah, that makes sense. She'll have a place to be for a while. He's not sure what he's feeling exactly, except this sense that he thinks she should get to feel okay, if she can. He thinks he wants that for her, at least. ]

Yeah. You should. And change your clothes. [ His expression softens a little. ] I'll be around.

[ He will, after all, be somewhere. He doesn't connect with people easily, or normally, and so he's not really sure how to end this other than walking away. It's not for lack of wanting, really, it's not knowing how, not feeling the need for community the way some do. A piece missing. At the same time, he thinks this area seems as good as any to stick close to for now. And maybe that means they'll see each other again. Maybe he'd like that, to the extent he can.

She should get to be okay, though, he thinks again. ]