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TEST DRIVE ∞ May 2025
Test Drive ∞ May 2025
The First Collision
The Diadem is an invite-only panfandom game set in a retro-futuristic world where uprooted souls find themselves deep within an eerie wasteland of roads and highways frequently assailed by cosmic storms. Three united strongholds keep the population. Its capital is Panorama, a large metropolis at the planet's center.
Soon, you realize you aren't alone. Calling themselves fluxdrifts, the "locals" have similar stories to you, either for themselves or their ancestry. You speak to an old woman who claims she hailed from another star. You meet a young man who says his great-great-grandfather knew a strange language everybody spoke "back home." As you explore, you stumble across a coin you recognize or your sister's locket. How did it get here? What does this mean? That's for you to discover.
But first, you need to find a ride.
Soon, you realize you aren't alone. Calling themselves fluxdrifts, the "locals" have similar stories to you, either for themselves or their ancestry. You speak to an old woman who claims she hailed from another star. You meet a young man who says his great-great-grandfather knew a strange language everybody spoke "back home." As you explore, you stumble across a coin you recognize or your sister's locket. How did it get here? What does this mean? That's for you to discover.
But first, you need to find a ride.
No invites needed to play on the TDM. Everyone's welcome! Use the Invite Request thread below to request an invite from another player.
∞ Summary ∞
IC-wise, arrivals are scattered throughout the month. Events described on the TDM are also ongoing throughout the month. If you'd rather jump right into the action, you're free to begin in media res with your character having already been on the planet for several days.
Post-impact, characters will wake up in a med tent by the Scrapyard. From there, they must accept a vehicle on loan and make the 2-hour drive to the nearest city, Panorama. If they refuse the car because they don't want the loan, they'll be in debt for medical bills instead...so just take the car. It'll come in handy.
Some things to keep in mind when bringing in your character:
TDM threads can be canon if characters are accepted. Top-levels made to the TDM should be open to all.
Post-impact, characters will wake up in a med tent by the Scrapyard. From there, they must accept a vehicle on loan and make the 2-hour drive to the nearest city, Panorama. If they refuse the car because they don't want the loan, they'll be in debt for medical bills instead...so just take the car. It'll come in handy.
Some things to keep in mind when bringing in your character:
- Pick an injury. At minimum, they got knocked out; at most, whatever they can recover from. Medicine is decently advanced so they'll heal faster if not painlessly.
- Decide items kept. Reasonable items on their person only: photos, keys, clothes, costumes. No pets or animal companions. Wildly out-of-place tech and personal cell phones will be damaged beyond repair.
- Select a weapon. Do this only if eligible. Guidelines about weapons and powers are on the FAQ.
- Choose a vehicle. Decide whether your character gets 2-3 options or if they're stuck with something they hate. Players can pick directly from our collection or source their own images. Anything under a similar aesthetic will work. If your character needs accommodations for driving, they can have them. Ask us for details.
- Get a phone. Characters have to obtain a phone (and a SIM card) themselves. If they've got one from home, it's damaged beyond repair. Phones are cheap. It'll only take a couple of weeks to afford one. You need to know the number before you text or call anyone. Read about phones and the Forum before you hop on it.
TDM threads can be canon if characters are accepted. Top-levels made to the TDM should be open to all.
Fluxdrift
Arrival & Introduction
Date: Throughout May
You've tumbled over a cliff. You were fighting for your life. You're on the cusp of death. You slipped in the shower. Whatever the catalyst, you struggle to cling to consciousness. As darkness overtakes you, a swirling vortex warps light and shadow in a way that defies all physics. A dark wail etches into your very bones. You couldn't describe it if you tried. You can barely comprehend what it is.
Then you open your eyes.
Through the figure's mask ©, you swear the face is grinning down at you. The tent you're in smells of antiseptic, and scratchy blankets line your cot. Injuries you've sustained have been bandaged. In the corner, you spot a MedBot that's fixed you up. Depending on the extent of your injuries, the doctor on duty might give you some painkillers before you go. Thankfully, your belongings are by the exit. Sorry if anything's damaged. Your landing was pretty rough.
You follow the figure outside. They are Yom Crook, here to lend a hand to fellow fluxdrifts like yourself. Their car's parked beside them. Actually, there are lots of cars around, but Yom Crook's stands out with its painted shark mouth. They explain they found you, unconscious, in a diffusion zone and brought you here. The nearest city is a 2-hour drive northeast. Forget about walking. You'll never make it. Also, you owe the doctor a lot of money for patching you up. But you're in luck: they've got some wheels for you and if you accept the vehicle on loan, Yom Crook will cover your medical bills. That's a good deal, right? It's not the shiniest car or motorcycle, but it'll do. If fortune favors, you'll get to choose between two or three options. Plus, if you need accommodations to drive—like adjustments to your seat height or modified controls—you'll receive all that for free.
Take the vehicle. (And the loan.) Yom Crook assures you that you'll have six months before collectors come around. Any time you're ready to pay a part of it down, return here to the Scrapyard. You'll get a receipt and everything. Paying off the loan in six months isn't impossible, but it will take a lot of work. Just don't get too lax. There's a good chance you'll be juggling multiple loans as you try to get by.
You either know how to drive, or you'll have a bare-bones manual to get you started. Road rules are more a suggestion than enforced, so just hit the pedal and go. The car has some basic features. The built-in compass will help you navigate.
Through the figure's mask ©, you swear the face is grinning down at you. The tent you're in smells of antiseptic, and scratchy blankets line your cot. Injuries you've sustained have been bandaged. In the corner, you spot a MedBot that's fixed you up. Depending on the extent of your injuries, the doctor on duty might give you some painkillers before you go. Thankfully, your belongings are by the exit. Sorry if anything's damaged. Your landing was pretty rough.
You follow the figure outside. They are Yom Crook, here to lend a hand to fellow fluxdrifts like yourself. Their car's parked beside them. Actually, there are lots of cars around, but Yom Crook's stands out with its painted shark mouth. They explain they found you, unconscious, in a diffusion zone and brought you here. The nearest city is a 2-hour drive northeast. Forget about walking. You'll never make it. Also, you owe the doctor a lot of money for patching you up. But you're in luck: they've got some wheels for you and if you accept the vehicle on loan, Yom Crook will cover your medical bills. That's a good deal, right? It's not the shiniest car or motorcycle, but it'll do. If fortune favors, you'll get to choose between two or three options. Plus, if you need accommodations to drive—like adjustments to your seat height or modified controls—you'll receive all that for free.
Take the vehicle. (And the loan.) Yom Crook assures you that you'll have six months before collectors come around. Any time you're ready to pay a part of it down, return here to the Scrapyard. You'll get a receipt and everything. Paying off the loan in six months isn't impossible, but it will take a lot of work. Just don't get too lax. There's a good chance you'll be juggling multiple loans as you try to get by.
You either know how to drive, or you'll have a bare-bones manual to get you started. Road rules are more a suggestion than enforced, so just hit the pedal and go. The car has some basic features. The built-in compass will help you navigate.
OPTIONAL PROMPTS: a flat tire; a body on the road (is it a trap?); a fender bender
Panorama
Explore & Settle In
Conditions: Warm spring temperatures, light showers
After 2 hours on the road, you find civilization. The largest of the strongholds, Panorama is where the economy thrives. Massive power plants glowing red make it visible from a distance. The city is divided into three districts. For now, you can access the Pavilion and the Blocks. Don't worry about the Sanctum; they're not letting you in.
You only need to know two things about Panorama: 1) it's big, the size of a modern metropolis, and you'll need your car to get around; 2) anything goes as long as you don't pick a fight with the wrong person. Street smarts will get you far. Despite its geographical size, the population isn't huge. With roughly a million people in a city designed for over twice that number, Panorama is far from deserted, but nor is it overcrowded. It's a good thing. Resources are limited as it is.
You only need to know two things about Panorama: 1) it's big, the size of a modern metropolis, and you'll need your car to get around; 2) anything goes as long as you don't pick a fight with the wrong person. Street smarts will get you far. Despite its geographical size, the population isn't huge. With roughly a million people in a city designed for over twice that number, Panorama is far from deserted, but nor is it overcrowded. It's a good thing. Resources are limited as it is.
The Pavilion: Free Samples
Like any large city, Panorama features a couple of supermarkets. The stock's not as consistent as a proper supermarket. On occasion, shelves can remain cleaned out for a week or two. Regardless, the long tradition of free samples remains. If you're not already shopping, you'll notice the crowded parking lot and clusters of lines inside.
Try samples, push through the crowds as you shop, or give yourself a five-finger discount. If you're cautious, you can pocket a few small items without consequences. The Pavillion doesn't have the infrastructure for surveillance; unless someone sees you, you won't be caught. Steal from the store or pilfer someone's wallet. Maybe you even make a new friend if you bump into another fluxdrift. Or, start a fight with somebody who cut you off in the cheese line. Don't make too much of a ruckus, or you'll be thrown out.
As you look around, you'll see posters advertising temporary positions for the cash register or graveyard shifts in the warehouse. Seems they might've lost several employees recently (how'd that happen?), which is good for you! It's just a 6-week position, but it'll get you on your feet. The city has temporary positions like this all over. Permanent ones are harder to come by when you're new.
Try samples, push through the crowds as you shop, or give yourself a five-finger discount. If you're cautious, you can pocket a few small items without consequences. The Pavillion doesn't have the infrastructure for surveillance; unless someone sees you, you won't be caught. Steal from the store or pilfer someone's wallet. Maybe you even make a new friend if you bump into another fluxdrift. Or, start a fight with somebody who cut you off in the cheese line. Don't make too much of a ruckus, or you'll be thrown out.
As you look around, you'll see posters advertising temporary positions for the cash register or graveyard shifts in the warehouse. Seems they might've lost several employees recently (how'd that happen?), which is good for you! It's just a 6-week position, but it'll get you on your feet. The city has temporary positions like this all over. Permanent ones are harder to come by when you're new.
Samples include: steamed cabbage dumplings, synthetic cherry juice, cheddar cheese, and chocolate-covered alien eggs (it's crunchy and weirdly tasty). They're served in the usual throwaway paper cups with little toothpicks.
The Blocks: Power Outage
Power's finicky in Panorama, especially in the Blocks. Saint Margery's Hospital, located in the same area, has priority for power so the first to go are the motels. Maybe you've been in your room for a couple of weeks, maybe you just got here—and by the way, every motel desk is happy to put the fee on your tab if you don't have the money upfront—but all the motels on the east side are in a blackout, leaving only the west side motels up and running.
What do you do? You have three choices:
What do you do? You have three choices:
- Risk leaving your room and head to the other side where there's power. Knock on some doors and negotiate with another to share the room. They might shut the door in your face, ask for a favor in return, or be nice enough to help you with no strings attached. There's no guarantee your unattended room will be untouched, though, and you'll be on the hook for any damages an intruder causes.
- Sit in the dark and deal. It's not the worst idea, but the TV's down, the vending machines are powered down, and with the entire place plunged into darkness, you risk getting robbed. If you struggle with defending yourself, you might want to find some trustworthy company. You can also sneak out of there and let them take your leftover pizza. It's not like you've got a ton of valuables, right? Plus, clobbering someone in the face with a frying pan sounds great until you realize you've gotta do something with the body. And what if this person's got a friend waiting?
- Get in your car and drive (or grab a friend for a road trip). If you scroll the Forum, you might notice reports on diffusion zones southward. Besides, these motels are hardly your forever home. The city can only provide so much. Why not go for a ride and see what you can find out there?
OPTIONAL PROMPTS: clean up on aisle 3 (what is that goo?); a knock at your door but no one's there; you hear screaming or a commotion down the hall
The Fringes
Quad 3: Lockdown
Conditions: Stormy, with flooding roads
Felix Bjurstrom
> Date: 125-05-17
> Time: 02:15:57
> Emergency road lights have been reported in Quadrant 3! Please, can someone go see what's there? When last we chasers investigated emergency lights, a whole truck filled with sour candy had tipped over. Our stores were stocked for weeks! Oh, be careful - reception looks bad in that zone.
> Date: 125-05-17
> Time: 02:15:57
> Emergency road lights have been reported in Quadrant 3! Please, can someone go see what's there? When last we chasers investigated emergency lights, a whole truck filled with sour candy had tipped over. Our stores were stocked for weeks! Oh, be careful - reception looks bad in that zone.
Through the open windows, a computer awakens and displays a cheerful smile. The lights inside switch on.
Pick your scenario role below. Your thread partner doesn't need to take the opposite role! They can join you in the same scenario (i.e. trapped together). Players are also free to create a generic NPC for the other side to facilitate the thread.
After characters escape, they'll find one bottle of antibiotics in their pocket or car, whether they remember taking it or not.
After characters escape, they'll find one bottle of antibiotics in their pocket or car, whether they remember taking it or not.
A: Sealed In
As you peer through the windows, you see crates of medicine floating around. Antibiotics in the diadem are valuable. Hospitals and doctors are always buying. You can keep it for yourself or make a quick buck. Or maybe you're compelled to help somebody back in the city who's in need. Whatever the reason, you decide to take the risk and step inside.
Water splashes around your ankles. The lock buzzes behind you. If you try to break the windows, you discover they're unnaturally resistant to shattering. With the whole place locked tight, the water begins to churn. Then the computer lights up again.
Warning, it flashes in large, bold text. Quarantine in progress. Release code required for exit.
- To find the code, you'll have to search. Duck under the water, go through sopping envelopes and sticky notes or pick the locks on the filing cabinets and desk drawers. You can also try hacking the computers. Use your computer knowledge or fall back on the age-old trick of seeing who wrote down their password.
- The files, notepads, and emails start innocuous, but as you look through them, disturbing phrases jump out at you—a dark thought you've had or a cruel taunt from someone in your past. The longer you're fixed on the terrible words, the higher the water begins to rise. Only another can break you out of your trance.
- With the rising water comes fear. And the more you're afraid, the more the water also rises. You begin to see faces in the water, bobbing like balloon heads. Do you recognize them? If you move to take a closer look, they will sink back beneath the surface as if never there.
- If you manage to swallow your panic, you can eventually find a triple-laminated binder with the release code and instructions. Bad news: you need someone on the outside to punch in the 6 strange symbols in order. The instructions explain that the code panel is located at the back of the building.
B: Set Free
As you peer through the windows, you see not just the crates of medicine but someone trapped inside. They look like they might be in trouble, and from your vantage point, you notice that the water is bubbling strangely. It's definitely not normal rainwater. As you watch, the water rises unnaturally, stopping and starting. It's as if the water level is responding to an external stimulus.
- The glass is soundproof. You can't hear what the person inside is saying, so you'll have to communicate with each other another way. Try charades, typing on your phone, or whatever you think of. Eventually, you determine that they're stuck and that you need to enter some sort of code onto a pad located—according to your trapped partner—at the back of the building.
- Around the back, shadows swallow your surroundings. The panel must be pried open, but a slippery substance makes it hard to get a good grip. Each time the substance touches you, you grow uneasy. You swear you see eyes watching you, though when you turn around, nothing's there.
- You can't seem to keep the instructions in your mind. And those symbols...they burn into your retinas. Through them, you glimpse an incomprehensibly massive figure unfurling in the darkness, pulsing as if in a deep sleep. When you snap back to reality, you realize you've injured yourself, slicing your hand on a sharp edge or a bruise you can't remember getting.
- Once you manage to release the doors, the water inside the office drains upward into the sky as though sucked out by a giant hose. The darkness spreads. Get out of there fast before the shadows drag you or your partner into the void.
Main Navigation ::: ⇅
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no subject
He thinks, perhaps, if there is still a light in him, it's only because Charles has put it there.
So this, whatever he might help Charles with here, whether it's only advice or actual physical help, will always pale in comparison to what he gave him to begin with. And it comes nowhere close to making up for everything he's done, but it is, he hopes, a better path.
Despite the reluctance, Erik's pleased he doesn't need to insist. He could just push the chair with his hands, but seen as Charles has seen fit to seize one of his arms, he makes use of his abilities instead, easing the wheels forward with a soft swipe of his free hand, then they're heading into the store. ]
I found a place. In Poland. [ He starts, after they've made it past the initial group of people nearer the entrance, and Erik's checked that Charles is doing alright for the amount of people inside. ] It's not much, just a small cabin. I got a job at a factory. I go by a different name.
[ Not that he wanted to necessarily, but he had to. It was the whole point of vanishing. If people just knew who he was, he might as well just turn himself in and never again see the light of day. ]
Guess I was just... trying to have a simple life somewhere. Quiet, away from trouble. [ Living among humans, evidently. Living as a human, even. ]
no subject
Foolish. Naive. Not arrogance, when it came to Erik, he felt the light in him and wanted it to shine. He touches it now, threading his way into his mind from the smallest of touches. Charles has that gentle shine that comes with him. He used to connect to it just out of reassurance, Erik became something he was a little addicted to. All those beautiful shadows.
The supermarket is populated, especially with a line for free samples, and it's difficult but not impossible to be there. Smaller crowds at a time he can survive, it's the city outside churning away at the edges of his consciousness. He massages his temple and his fingers tighten on Erik's shirt but then relaxes as he stabilizes. ]
You'd have to. Your name is quite famous now.
[ He's already in there so he may as well talk. After two attempted assassinations on presidents, he is likely wanted at large. But another country would be safer. He could restart there. If that is what he claims he is doing. ]
Did you plan on reaching out again?
[ Erik could not come 'home' anymore, not with his fame, but Charles wonders if he would go looking for him again. The answer is, most likely. Even if it was to see where he was. But it is hard to say. Erik is such a constant ache in his gut. ]
no subject
Because in truth, he doesn't know if he would have done anything differently. Maybe he would have drawn that gun from Moira's hands, rather than just deflect the bullets. Maybe he would have prevented the injury to Charles's spine. But he would have still left, in the end. He would have still abandoned him. Charles was not wrong to put it in exactly those words.
Feeling Charles slip into his mind again feels less jarring now, both because the first time at the motel was far more intense, and because they had been in actual physical contact then. But it is still overwhelming, like high tide washing over him. He needs a moment to pause, slow down a little, just to be able to get used to that presence while functioning in a public space. ]
Infamous, to be more accurate.
[ He's no telepath, but in his mind, he tries to focus on the picture of the cabin, an old place clearly in need of repairs. But it has a roof, walls, and (most) windows. A flicker of a memory so Charles knows Erik isn't lying.
A few disjointed thoughts run through his mind at that question, but when he conjures an answer, it's a shorter, quieter: ] I don't know.
[ He wanted to. That much is clear in his thoughts, which lie just beneath the surface of those words. The longer time passed, the more he wanted to reach out to him. Being as alone as he was only made that yearing the more unbearable. ]
It would have put you at risk, and anyone else who was with you. I didn't think that anything I wanted to say would be worth that chance.
[ And it would have been selfish, ultimately. He would have done it solely for himself and his own peace of mind, and he would have put everything Charles was working towards in jeopardy. Because Erik knows with absolute certainty that there will be people watching Charles. His house, his school, whenever it becomes that. They would be waiting patiently for Erik to reemerge. ]
no subject
And then after, while he was healing, when he settled back at the house, he thought any day now, Erik and Raven would return. They left for the moment, but surely not forever. He was angry, of course, and he would have told them so, but it took him months before he accepted the finality of what happened. It grew his bitterness into what it became. It wasn't about the abandonment of that moment. It was every day and week and month afterward.
The line is going very slowly so they wait in it for now. Charles plays with the fabric of Erik's shirt underneath his fingertips, he has a tendency to do that with objects with his hands while his mind is wandering. It's another grounding technique with the world around them shifting. ]
I wouldn't have let you visit, but we could have talked.
[ Charles most certainly would not be so foolish as to invite Erik to the mansion. Absolutely not. Too dangerous, as they both have acknowledged! But that is what makes Charles and Erik's situation different, because he can reach across the globe to touch him, as he is now. ]
I know it's as much my fault. I'm the one who can reach out, not you.
[ Erik did have the number for the school but it could be traced, yes. So if Charles never did, that was his choice. They both expect the worst from each other, that they shut one another out on purpose, rather than consider there was any ground that could be remade. ]
But it comes back to the same thing, doesn't it? I never wanted to be apart from you.
no subject
It was not your fault. I'm the one who left.
[ But at the time, it was what he had to do. Or what he thought he had to do. Still on the heels of his ultimate goal taking up so much of his life that he hadn't even stopped to realise what he was giving up. How much it would hurt to lose it.
He cannot keep going back. But he does, again, to that beach, holding Charles in his arms and hearing him say that no, we don't want the same thing. Charles wanted peace; Erik didn't even consider that an option. It was all or nothing, and he somehow got both.
The last words have him turning his head away, his eyes closed. Thoughts scatter, incoherent, and it's a while before he knows what to say, or if he should even say it. His hand shifts just enough that he can brush his fingertips against Charles's sleeve, but it's barely a touch because Charles is the one holding onto him; Erik doesn't think he even has that right. ]
I never wanted to leave you.
no subject
He goes back to that beach often. They left him bleeding and paralyzed on it, and while he and Hank became very close over time, they weren't at that point. He wiped Moira's mind to protect her and then he had to begin again without the two people who felt like permanent fixtures in his heart. How does someone move on from three significant losses in a single day?
Neither of them have gotten over what happened because until recently there was no way for them to find either peace or recrimination from one another. They had long, long silence and anger, and there were high emotions on that plane, genuine ones. He sighs and feels the weight of Erik's skin, just the tip of his fingers, close to his, enough that he could reach him if he wanted to. But he doesn't. ]
You weren't wrong, what you said. I shut down, I let the dream die. I gave up on everyone.
[ Charles did manage to find some hope after his heart was broken, and for a time, it felt like the school could truly exist, that they were going somewhere. He let go of his rage and pain to focus on the future. But the world around them came for the school and he was left again, with nothing other than Hank. Charles knows that he could have continued, he had opportunities, but by then Hank came up with the drug, and he fixated on closing his mind. ]
Perhaps this is not the place to discuss it. I can tell it is bothering you.
no subject
He closes his hand into a fist, stops himself from trying to reach out further, seeking a contact that he should not. A deep, slow breath, then he lifts his head and fixes his eyes on the line in front of them, moving them forward once more as that line moves. ]
It's fine. I can handle it.
[ Doubtful, but he's also stubborn, and also prideful, and quite frankly, this is so much more difficult to handle than if Charles were to simply yell at him, hate him for everything he did. To find him acquiescing that he too did some wrong, meeting Erik halfway in carrying blame for what happened, brings down his walls far too easily. Not that they were ever very high for Charles to begin with. ]
I just don't know what more I can tell you. That I'm sorry, or that I wish things could have been different. I can't change everything that's happened, as much as I'd want to.
[ And he has never been much the kind to cling to what-ifs. It's only that he can't ever let go from what they had, even if he's lost it. ]
no subject
[ It has been a short amount of time, it pinned him to the ground, his head just hurts more than his body. They did help him medically to be certain nothing more serious was happening, but the bruises would have to heal the old-fashioned way. And sometimes Charles can be a petty bitch. He spent a decade dreaming of hearing Erik apologize and come back to him. He is going to remain a little salty.
Almost contrary to that though, Charles finally moves his hand from Erik's sleeve to touch his fist, skin on skin. He taps the knuckles, intending to loosen him up because he doesn't want him to get too temperamental in a bloody supermarket. It shouldn't be a big deal as he did touch his temple earlier, and the mental connection is far more intimate than any brush of fingers could be, but there is something about it. ]
We can focus on the situation at hand.
[ Since he knows Erik is just being stubborn and doesn't want to deal with this emotional weight in a public place. The line is moving slowly but it is moving. ]
I've heard nothing about mutants here. There appear to be superpowered or uniquely non-human types, but no certainty they are considered one.
no subject
Then I think I can keep saying it, so long as you believe me.
[ Or until he believes him. Either or.
He feels goosebumps up his arm when there's direct contact suddenly; his hand unfolds almost immediately, though it doesn't move much, only letting go of the tension that kept his fingers curled into a fist. He wasn't about to cause trouble, for what it's worth; but the direct touch is nevertheless a sort of comfort, as if it brings Charles closer into his mind. Or at least, it shuts out the rest of the world even better. ]
I've noticed. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing, but I suppose it's good to know we won't be targeted simply for what we are.
[ He wants to believe that, at least. There's always some amount of suspicion when it comes to that, like he's always going to be waiting for people to turn on them. Besides, they may yet be targeted for plenty other reasons, so that might not be the silver lining he'd hope for. ]
no subject
[ When Erik says that he's sorry and he regrets it, Charles believes that he means it. Now. Hindsight is 20/20. Erik is sorry now that he's already done the terrible things and made the bad choices. It may not keep him from doing it again, because while he cares deeply for the man, Erik has a temper. Something in him snaps under the right amount of pressure, and it doesn't change that he means his words right now. It just can't guarantee it won't happen again. That is the sticking point that will require more time to sort out.
Their fingers tangle for a moment once Erik lets go of his fist, which was Charles's plan. To make him relax and not get too closed down in his mind and in his body. There was a time he got all kinds of addicted to the smallest gestures of affection he could get out of Erik. He knew his friend didn't do that with others so he became obsessed with something as simple as putting a hand on his shoulder or on his back. They had an easy way about them, once.
The gesture is given, their fingers brushing, and then Charles goes back to gripping his shirt sleeve. It isn't a rejection, more a way to keep himself from delving too deeply into old times. ]
I've heard nothing that makes me concerned on that front. It may be loud but I can hear separate voices, and it's not the same as back home.
[ Charles was very aware of the fear that could sometimes break out the more mutants became public. He just hoped that understanding would move people past fear. But here, that is not something he senses. ]
No one seems to think there is any way to leave here. No one has come up with a way to return that I can gathe.
no subject
Erik doesn't know. He maintains what he said then. Maybe Charles shouldn't trust him. Maybe Erik can't be a better man, no matter how well-meaning he might be. Maybe it doesn't matter how much he wants to change, in the end. He'll always end up only hurting those closest to him.
It is both a relief and a disappointment when Charles goes back to gripping his shirt. At the least the knot untangles from his chest, and he manages a deep, silent breath, shifting his focus to their current situation instead. A far safer topic. ]
So far it seems as though everyone here has come from somewhere else. Even from previous generations. There seems to be no one native to this place.
[ As strange as it is ominous. It certainly doesn't fill Erik with hope that they might find a way back. ]
Perhaps others will show up. Other mutants.
no subject
Erik is willing to build it up again, and if he continues to show that he's interested in changing, then it'll go a long way. Charles is far too forgiving, he already wants to slide back into who they were before. It's difficult to be around Erik and not feel that deep love again, especially when touching his mind directly like now. When all the parts of his beautiful brain are lit up because they're together and Charles wants to lose himself in it. ]
Perhaps.
[ There is a twinge of pain that Erik can probably feel, this time on a personal level and not from other people. Because he thinks about Raven, how much he'd like to see her, and then guilt over thinking that in this strange land. It's just that they had so little time together, mere seconds, brief conversations. He hasn't gotten to hold her, to be with her. It's almost as if he fears picturing her will make it come to be, so he brushes it off. ]
We'll have to look out for other mutants. If you're from months after me, that means time travel is potentially real here too. There could be many more of them, I saw a future of so many mutants, Erik.
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He's settled more into that idea over the past few months, found a quieter sort of life, even if he hasn't gotten used to it. But finding a purpose in that kind of existence has been difficult. He still struggles. Feels like he's abandoned the cause he'd so long fought for. When he'd so carelessly accused Charles of abandoning their people, isn't that just what he was doing when he ran away and hid?
Not that he had many options, to be fair. He's a wanted man. There's nowhere that he can exist in public, not under his name at least. That doesn't erase the guilt of leaving all of that behind. Leaving Charles behind— again.
He glances down when he feels that trace of pain, but he doesn't say anything. It's personal, whatever has caused that sentiment. He doesn't feel like he's in a place that he can ask. ]
One can only hope. [ After everything they'd heard from Logan, any possibility of a better future for their kind is a comfort. ] But I don't know that many of them would want my help.
[ He hadn't exactly left a good impression with most mutants, and he doubts it's that different even in other points in time. Charles hasn't been the only bridge he's burned. It's far likelier they will want him as far away as possible. ]
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He holds a lot of anger at himself over what Erik accused him of. His friend has always been good at hitting the mark with him, precise and true. He let his misery and guilt lead him astray and at least for him, the glimpse of a time when he did it all right instead, it was reassuring. But also overwhelming. The man he became is someone he didn't fully recognize. Perhaps Xavier in the 60s would've fit his path, but he feels far from it. Charles may have certainty of his path, unlike Erik, but it doesn't mean it feels any more guaranteed. ]
And if they don't? Will you leave it at that?
[ Charles glances up from where he sits, eyes traveling the long distance up Erik's arm to his shoulders and his face at the end of its journey. A beloved one, if filled with bitterness to look at too. His eyes narrow slightly. ]
The future you worked with us in the end, Erik. I am not the only one you can and should prove yourself to. And I think if you do, it will be good for you as well.
[ He shouldn't give up before he starts. They're his people too. Erik cares for mutants. He's gone about it in the wrong way, but the goal is there at its base. Maybe he is their villain in the future, but if they were raised by Charles, and many of them truly were, they'd be open to someone looking for a second chance. It just requires Erik to be willing to put his money where his mouth is. ]
We both started the X-Men.
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So when asked now, what would he do if other mutants showed up here, the truth is he doesn't know. Even less so when he has a feeling that most of them, if not all, would be at least concerned about having him around.
He stares at the line ahead, still feeling the weight of Charles's gaze on him, but not meeting it with his own. ]
Maybe.
[ It might just be good for him. He doesn't know that he will have the chance to prove that he can be anything else but the villain, the monster in their stories. He would not be surprised if he learned that none of them would be glad at all to see him, and quite frankly, Erik doesn't know if the feeling wouldn't be mutual.
And then Charles goes straight for the nostalgia angle, because of course he does, those memories alone making Erik feel a deep fondness, though it's heavy with the weight of regret, and longing. A lifetime ago, indeed. ]
We may have created it, but I destroyed it. I turned on you all. Do you really think any mutant from our future will see my being here as a good thing?
[ And by 'here' he doesn't just mean in this place; he means here, by Charles's side. There's even some concern here that Charles even trying to speak up on Erik's behalf might just damage what standing he has among his own people. ]
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But he can hardly ask people who nearly died because of Erik to give him grace simply because Charles himself always will. That is a problem for the future. He believes there can be a medium place, but there can be no separation of his life with Erik or with them. The worst Erik has done as of right now is to him specifically. So he can choose to forgive.
That time together in the start was life-changing. Perspective-changing. Charles became a better person for it. He tugs firmly on Erik's shirt to try and force him to look at him. ]
You are responsible for a few things, Erik, but destroying our class is not one of them. They split apart or died because of the government. You can blame yourself for the things you did, not that.
[ And then the refusal to move on Charles did gives him his own reasons to feel guilty. He could have continued but at the time it seemed so pointless. Erik was causing trouble with his own mutants, but clearly that turned out very poorly as well. It was not a good period of time for either of them. ]
We'll cross that bridge if we get there. I will make my choices and so will they. But you were hard on me for turning my back on our people. Do you think sticking your head in the sand will make you feel better?
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He doesn't want to make these changes simply out of need. He wants to do better, for his own kind if nothing else. If that means living in hiding for the remainder of his days, that... well, he can't say he's fine with that, but it's a possibility he's trying to come to terms with.
He looks down when Charles tugs on his shirt. Reading minds isn't a power he holds, of course, but he looks intently enough into those blue eyes as if he hopes to see the essence of Charles's soul. ]
There were many factors involved. I'm certain that my turning against those vessels didn't help your cause.
[ So maybe he wasn't entirely to blame. But he recognises he had a hand in it. His actions on that beach only contributed to the belief humans immediately clung to that mutants were a threat.
The last words get a short chuckle from him, though it's more dry and ironic than anything. He shakes his head. ]
I see we're resorting to emotional manipulation at its finest.
[ That's said (thought?) with exceeding fondness. Of course that Charles would, though. And, well, he's not exactly wrong. ]
It might be a moot point. Maybe other mutants won't show up.
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[ Including Moira, for her own good. His decisions are not always correct and moral, and that was one of the questionable ones, but Charles feels certain it was the right course. The less people know about them the better. So despite the fact everyone does remember the conflict on the beach, the details are not remembered by those in charge, who tried to make the mutant branch in the first place. Charles will do what he must to protect his students now, after he failed them so thoroughly.
Erik's continued acceptance of his mistakes though does go a way toward making Charles see that perhaps he is headed toward a better understanding. Taking responsibility even when Charles is giving him an out, that he appreciates. His eyes gentle as they meet Erik's and he smiles faintly at him. ]
I use what tricks I have at my disposal.
[ Emotional manipulation is something he excels at! He understands emotions very well after all. But he was attempting to make a point and it's clear that Erik has taken that point, whether or not he's decided to agree to it. They move up in the line, they're almost at the front. He'll get his free samples and then maybe allow Erik to buy him one food item. Reluctantly. ]
Perhaps not. And then what purpose would Professor X and Magneto have in this new world?
[ It's said almost as a joke but it is completely serious at the same time. Charles has no idea what his purpose is outside of being the leader of the X-Men and a professor once more. ]
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He holds Charles's gaze, and matches his smile. It feels easier. Not fixed, far from it, but the weight lessens, at least a little, and there's a distinct feeling in him that he's just taken a step in the right direction. He doesn't know what his future is, not anymore anyway, so that feeling is all he has to go on. He'll cling to it, if he must. ]
I'm sure we'll think of something.
[ Finding a purpose, having a goal, it's but a matter of adapting to their new circumstances. And clearly this world is not without its problems, so he has no doubt that they would find their own sort of purpose here. Something to give their presence here meaning. Even when Charles has struggled to find that over the past ten years, and Erik is at a point where he lacks direction.
At least, he thinks, I'm not alone. And it's a strange thought to creep into his mind right now, when he'd pretty much committed himself to living entirely on his own for the foreseeable future. ]
I think we're up.
[ He tilts his head to the line ahead, just a couple more people in front of them. Maybe a good idea not to be lost in deep, serious conversation when their turn comes. ]
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[ But Charles likes it. It's rare for Erik to be the reassuring one and Charles to be the messy one, but it only slightly grates on him. Perhaps there's nothing wrong with their eternal search for balance meaning one leans more on the other at different times. What would it mean, to take off the harsh reins on his pride to allow that again from Erik? He may see in time.
That was one of the first things Charles ever said to him. You're not alone. It was profound for them both at the time. Charles had Raven but he still didn't have proof of other mutants, only theories and hopes. Erik had been alone since he was a child and saw no need for others, until one jumped off a ship into the water and pulled him up for air. Charles who has never been alone until now. He might feel the same.
They do get to the front of the line and Charles politely asks for whatever amount of samples they are allowed to take. If this was a time when he had plenty of food to go back to, he would have only asked for one, but in this case they allowed a few, so he took the opportunity. He puts them on his lap outside of the cherry juice since that might spill, and wheels to the side, tugging Erik and his samples away from line. They're faster than other people were, at least. No argument, just reasonable acceptance. ]
I'm not sure about this one.
[ He is looking at the chocolate eggs. He has tried a variety of unique foods over his life but it's the alien egg aspect that makes him hesitate. ]
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[ He sounds only half-serious, because honestly he doesn't know that he would be a very good optimist. He would rather be pleasantly surprised than horribly disappointed, and he has seen far too much of the world and human nature to really have much in the way of belief. Never even did know what that was like before meeting Charles.
Only time will tell, how things will progress in this place. At the moment, survival is of paramount importance, and that means Charles's own survival as well. No matter how stubborn and prideful he wants to be about it.
Anything else —a purpose, a path, a plan— will need to wait.
He looks down to the eggs Charles mentions, his own samples tucked into a bag that he holds in his free hand. He arches an eyebrow at him. ]
Not worried you'll grow a tail, are you?
[ It's just chocolate... probably. ]
I've managed to get a small kettle. Maybe we can find some tea here.
[ It's probably going to be as shitty as motel tea, if not even worse, but better than nothing. ]
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[ A dry response about the eggs but Charles does decide to attempt them and while the texture is bizarre, the taste is fine. And that's all he's really looking for in a free sample from a supermarket on an alien planet that they're currently stuck in for the foreseeable future. He turns his chair and starts moving toward the aisles assuming Erik will follow him. He is testing out whether he can handle it without having to put a hand on Erik's arm the entire time.
It is noisy right away and he winces but he'll have to suffer it eventually so he tries to put up shields again. Charles pauses for a moment with his chair and sighs before he seems to right himself. He can't spend all his time hiding in Erik's mind like a security blanket. There are enough voices here to ring in his head, but it's the rest of Panaroma that is the problem. ]
Fine, we can get tea.
[ He'll accept that gift from Erik because the thought of it is a deep relief. Even if it's bad tea, Charles will take it, it will remind him of better times and he's always felt better once he has one. Trust Erik to think of that, after all the time he spent with Charles smiling at him over the rim of a teacup. He shoots an affectionate look up at his former (?) best friend but immediately darts his gaze down so it doesn't linger. Being around Erik is so dangerous for him. He'd almost prefer him to drop another stadium on him at this point.
The sudden drop out of his mind is better for both of them to not get lost in that constant intimacy. ]
I've been drinking liquor more than tea these days, it's likely the better option.
[ Barely on the line of drunkard behavior. ]
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So there's a slight wince on his face as Charles tries the egg, but nothing immediate seems to happen, at least. Only time will tell. Which isn't to say an actual alien will grow inside him, but in all fairness they're in a new, foreign place with no idea what their purpose here might be; maybe it's not that unreasonable to worry about the food at their disposal. Not that Erik's prone to paranoia, not ever.
Once Charles lets go and starts moving down one of the aisles, Erik follows, pocketing his free hand while the other holds his bag. It's perfectly reasonable and actually smart that Charles wants to try to do this without having to rely on him as much. Erik can't be beside him every second of the day, even if he wished it, and eventually Charles needs to relearn how to navigate places like this. It's not a bad idea to do it now, when he has Erik there. Just in case he needs to reach for him again.
Not that he hopes he will. But he can't help wonder if Charles will do so again once he no longer has the need for it.
He's pleased enough that Charles agrees to the tea without any argument. To be fair, Erik would have gotten it for himself regardless, it seems a fairly small thing to share. Meals may or may not start to be delivered at Charles's door eventually, but that's a battle for another time. ]
Better and likely easier to get, here.
[ Erik hasn't really tried to get alcohol since he got here, even before, and he has little interest, to be fair. And yes, it might just be the best idea to steer Charles away from it, if possible. He obviously doesn't know everything about what Charles went through in the past ten years but he has some notion of how it might have been, and it doesn't look pretty.
He looks through the shelves on the way there, the selection on offer sparse and focused on the basics, for the most part. He helps himself to a bar of soap, but anything else he's going to save for when he has a real need for it, and hopefully more money. He's not above stealing, but he's not entirely sure how Charles would react to it and he would rather avoid a potential argument.
The tea selection is equally limited, but the fact that there's anything at all to choose from is already a small miracle. There are one or two kinds he's never heard of before, but at least a couple of names should be familiar to them. He looks to Charles. ]
Preference?
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Now they have to restart because neither of them are the more innocent versions of themselves, and yes, that was Erik then, before the weight of mutantkind felt like it crashed on his shoulders too. When it was only vengeance that drove him, before it became a bigger mission. They were in prisons of their own making, both literally in Erik's case, and emotionally in Charles's. He's glad though, that's what he thinks, watching Erik look at the teas while carrying their bag of samples. That he's there, that he's free, that he's alive. He's just not going to say it out loud.
Charles wants liquor. He feels it in his bones. He would say he had an unhealthy relationship with it, but luckily he has not gotten sick since getting here, which would have alarmed him about how serious it became without him realizing it. Instead it's more of a want than a need. Lord knows he could truly use a drink right then, but he'll take the tea. The desire to drink away his sorrows and pass out is not good for him. ]
Earl Grey, although it's not a box I'm familiar with.
[ That's because it's the very cheap kind and Charles naturally has only perfectly brewed and authentic tea! He is not going to argue with it though, being able to see it is thrilling in a small way. He winces when someone starts arguing with the sample worker, not because they're being loud (they are) but because the worker's mind is restrained fury in response. And shouting things in one's head is usually safe, when he's not around. It's small in the end, a little ripple. He wouldn't have noticed if he wasn't so out of practice.
Perhaps on a different day, with some money to his name, he would be eager to try a new type of tea from another world. Charles used to be excited about things like that, new experiences. He'll get it back. ]
I need to get a job, but from what I've gleaned, there are no traditional schools here. And I doubt I would be much use at a bowling alley.
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Charles is right, then. Neither of them are the same as when they met, but there is such a comfort and familiarity to it that it is almost jarring. That an hour ago Charles was berating him for dropping that stadium on him, and now they're just walking the aisles of a supermarket, picking tea. ]
Imagine that.
[ Muttered with palpable sarcasm and a smirk curling his lips. He picks the box from the shelf, looking to Charles when he winces, his eyes flicking to the commotion not too far from. It's not hard to imagine that might be what's bothering Charles, and while he doubts that it will make anything better, he continues down the aisle nonetheless, if nothing else then to offer something of a distraction. Something else for Charles to focus on. ]
I've managed to find work at a warehouse. Night shifts, but it's better than nothing. [ Which means that he was fresh out of a long shift when he ran into Charles. ] Most jobs are like that, unfortunately. Physical labor, menial tasks. I can help you look for something more suited to you, if you want.
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We can wrap here or on yours!
wrapped ♥