[ Something in him breaks when those words echo in his head, endlessly repeating and tripping over one another.
We could have done it together. You could have come home.
As if he ever had a home. As if he ever even remembered what that was. Was it what he had then, with Charles, with the mansion? Was it a notion so distant for him that he couldn't even recognize it when it was right in front of him? ]
I hurt you.
[ The thought comes forth unbidden, the guilt of it touching him again for the first time in a decade. Charles had been right then; he'd been the cause of that, he'd been the reason, because his grief was everything, his anger was paramount, and his vengeance above all else. And in the process of exacting revenge over the life he had stolen from him, he had willingly given away the possibility for a new one. ]
You were right, then. We didn't want the same thing. I couldn't stay, because I'd only hurt you more.
[ But he hurt him anyway, and he hurt Raven, and every other mutant that they could have stood for, together. How immense could their progress have been if he'd stayed, if he'd made the right choices for once? If he didn't think he needed to sacrifice it all for the greater good? ]
I'm sorry. If it's too late, I just want you to know that I don't want to be that man anymore.
[ He vowed as much, when he left this time. Months ago for him, days ago for Charles. That he would find a better path, even if it meant disappearing, becoming someone else. He didn't count on seeing Charles ever again— it is perhaps a blessing that he gets to at least have this opportunity to tell him this. ]
no subject
We could have done it together. You could have come home.
As if he ever had a home. As if he ever even remembered what that was. Was it what he had then, with Charles, with the mansion? Was it a notion so distant for him that he couldn't even recognize it when it was right in front of him? ]
I hurt you.
[ The thought comes forth unbidden, the guilt of it touching him again for the first time in a decade. Charles had been right then; he'd been the cause of that, he'd been the reason, because his grief was everything, his anger was paramount, and his vengeance above all else. And in the process of exacting revenge over the life he had stolen from him, he had willingly given away the possibility for a new one. ]
You were right, then. We didn't want the same thing. I couldn't stay, because I'd only hurt you more.
[ But he hurt him anyway, and he hurt Raven, and every other mutant that they could have stood for, together. How immense could their progress have been if he'd stayed, if he'd made the right choices for once? If he didn't think he needed to sacrifice it all for the greater good? ]
I'm sorry. If it's too late, I just want you to know that I don't want to be that man anymore.
[ He vowed as much, when he left this time. Months ago for him, days ago for Charles. That he would find a better path, even if it meant disappearing, becoming someone else. He didn't count on seeing Charles ever again— it is perhaps a blessing that he gets to at least have this opportunity to tell him this. ]