[ Charles is without question that desperate. He's found no relief, no path out of this constant noise and pain. He avoided it for years once Hank gave him back his legs, never having to touch a mind again or let the outside suffering come to him, but now there is no escape. And despite everything, no matter what happens between them, he reaches for Erik, and he begins the cycle again. Knowing they have fifty years of it ahead of them is both reassuring and exhausting.
The reason Charles did not look forward to touching Erik's mind is not because he hates it. It's because he loves it. There is nothing in there that he is afraid of or put off by, even now. His touch is gentle on Erik's temple and then he is sliding into familiar territory smoothly. He only briefly went into it before in DC in order to stop Erik, so it was not this fully embraced act. Erik's familiar mind, both the dark and light spots, sweeps around him.
The other voices retreat. He finds a focal point. He also sees that Erik is telling the truth, that it has been months for him, and that he does have some sincere regrets. Knowing that doesn't make it all fine, but it doesn't make it worse either. He sighs in relief. He can still hear it on the edge, but since he is not closer, they're shouts in the background. ]
God, Erik, if you could only see this as I do ....
[ Then what? Would he change his ways? Would they no longer have to war, if Erik saw all the bright spots in his mind, instead of wallowing in the darkness? Perhaps that is exactly what Charles means, grief hitting him that it simply isn't possible. ]
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The reason Charles did not look forward to touching Erik's mind is not because he hates it. It's because he loves it. There is nothing in there that he is afraid of or put off by, even now. His touch is gentle on Erik's temple and then he is sliding into familiar territory smoothly. He only briefly went into it before in DC in order to stop Erik, so it was not this fully embraced act. Erik's familiar mind, both the dark and light spots, sweeps around him.
The other voices retreat. He finds a focal point. He also sees that Erik is telling the truth, that it has been months for him, and that he does have some sincere regrets. Knowing that doesn't make it all fine, but it doesn't make it worse either. He sighs in relief. He can still hear it on the edge, but since he is not closer, they're shouts in the background. ]
God, Erik, if you could only see this as I do ....
[ Then what? Would he change his ways? Would they no longer have to war, if Erik saw all the bright spots in his mind, instead of wallowing in the darkness? Perhaps that is exactly what Charles means, grief hitting him that it simply isn't possible. ]