primepool: ([la] 026)
ryan VAT OF ACID reynolds ([personal profile] primepool) wrote in [community profile] diademooc 2025-06-29 07:29 am (UTC)

cw: self-harm mention

[Wade gives a snort in response. Nope, he doesn't give a single shit. It's not like Wade makes sense of it, either, as long as she keeps her fingers to herself. That thought, at least, can be pretty loud: please do not finger his brain. Quite literally. Once is enough for him for the rest of his life.] A woman of culture, I see.

[See, if they get along about anything, it'll absolutely be an appreciation for American TV. Surely she had a Golden Girls phase --]

Sure, sure. I respect the hustle. [The hustle of having a redemption arc, obviously.] You know, I tried doin' that. Retiring. [He's gonna sweep up the crumbs! Promise. Unfortunately his suit is very skin-tight and there's no baggage to create a little apron. It's all just sliding right off the leather.] It did not go well. Got stuck selling cars to people who can't tell an SUV from a UTE and spent at least 20 minutes every bike ride home thinking about throwing myself in front of a city bus. [Fond memories. Wait, why is he saying that like he's nostalgic for it?] Maybe that was a personal problem. [Like a deep-seated natural inclination towards hurting himself or getting hurt in the heat of battle? Whoa, pump the brakes on the psychoanalyzing, we're moving on.] So if you're hanging up the witch hat, what're you gonna do instead? [He perks up a little.] Maybe a long road trip full of various dangers, giant tourist traps, and near-illegal shenanigans, ending up as a fulfilling journey of self-discovery?

[Yes, this is the same guy who broke into her apartment wearing a full leather bondage outfit, desperate for a whiff of AC, asking what she's gonna do with her life.]

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