[ There's a lot of time out in the black when it's just him and his thoughts, working on the fusion reactor, checking the air recyclers, fuel levels, torpedo launchers, PDC — all that goes into keeping them floating, and safe. The whole crew has their parts to play. And a lot of his work is solitary, but the minute he's around anyone, there's chatter, and it's not bad. In fact, he even kinda likes it; more than he did. And the absence of it now is — yeah.
But it's interesting with Wanda, the way they can talk a little and it's like they're speaking a language they both know, but if they stop talking, it doesn't feel weird or awkward the way it can get with some people, the way they feel like they gotta fill up the dead air. It can sort of just be with her, so far. It's an observation, that's all, but it's a thing he likes, too, maybe. Maybe.
When she gets quiet, he doesn't look over, just figures she might've drifted off. Hell, she looked like she needed it. Least he can do is keep his eyes ahead, keep it all steady for her. But then she speaks up again and what he hears from her is the kind of thing he hasn't thought about, at least, purpose. But the same mistakes — yeah, he gets that. He didn't think that way before, but he's been trying real hard to make choices on his own, choices that are good ones, the right ones.
If there's any part of him that has anything left in him to fear something, it's that — the feeling that he could make a choice that's the wrong one and hurt someone innocent. But she's got a whole world and a whole life behind her words. ]
You're probably gonna make them again. At first. It just happens. I mean, if you made 'em before, it came from somewhere in you and it doesn't just shut off right away, but ain't a reason to stop trying. Think you learn a little more each time you fuck up.
[ He shrugs a little, feeling like he's well aware his advice isn't the most helpful. ] You never really leave anything behind, but what you were and what you did, it can be different now.
[ It can be, is the thing. In his mind, he believes less in starting over, but more in just adapting. And he thinks that's what they can do here. ]
Purpose, like you said. [ The word sticks with him. Will stick with him. ] Haven't thought of it much.
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But it's interesting with Wanda, the way they can talk a little and it's like they're speaking a language they both know, but if they stop talking, it doesn't feel weird or awkward the way it can get with some people, the way they feel like they gotta fill up the dead air. It can sort of just be with her, so far. It's an observation, that's all, but it's a thing he likes, too, maybe. Maybe.
When she gets quiet, he doesn't look over, just figures she might've drifted off. Hell, she looked like she needed it. Least he can do is keep his eyes ahead, keep it all steady for her. But then she speaks up again and what he hears from her is the kind of thing he hasn't thought about, at least, purpose. But the same mistakes — yeah, he gets that. He didn't think that way before, but he's been trying real hard to make choices on his own, choices that are good ones, the right ones.
If there's any part of him that has anything left in him to fear something, it's that — the feeling that he could make a choice that's the wrong one and hurt someone innocent. But she's got a whole world and a whole life behind her words. ]
You're probably gonna make them again. At first. It just happens. I mean, if you made 'em before, it came from somewhere in you and it doesn't just shut off right away, but ain't a reason to stop trying. Think you learn a little more each time you fuck up.
[ He shrugs a little, feeling like he's well aware his advice isn't the most helpful. ] You never really leave anything behind, but what you were and what you did, it can be different now.
[ It can be, is the thing. In his mind, he believes less in starting over, but more in just adapting. And he thinks that's what they can do here. ]
Purpose, like you said. [ The word sticks with him. Will stick with him. ] Haven't thought of it much.