[ It's just that he wasn't quite counting on them resuming the same conversation out here, and it's true that he lacks the experience that would allow him to better handle it, at the very least better hide his emotions from everyone around them. Not that anyone really seems to care much, but Erik doesn't like being this exposed to everyone else. Charles he doesn't mind; if he did, then he wouldn't welcome him into his mind again. But anyone else, stranger or otherwise, leaves him feeling uncomfortable and far too open.
He closes his hand into a fist, stops himself from trying to reach out further, seeking a contact that he should not. A deep, slow breath, then he lifts his head and fixes his eyes on the line in front of them, moving them forward once more as that line moves. ]
It's fine. I can handle it.
[ Doubtful, but he's also stubborn, and also prideful, and quite frankly, this is so much more difficult to handle than if Charles were to simply yell at him, hate him for everything he did. To find him acquiescing that he too did some wrong, meeting Erik halfway in carrying blame for what happened, brings down his walls far too easily. Not that they were ever very high for Charles to begin with. ]
I just don't know what more I can tell you. That I'm sorry, or that I wish things could have been different. I can't change everything that's happened, as much as I'd want to.
[ And he has never been much the kind to cling to what-ifs. It's only that he can't ever let go from what they had, even if he's lost it. ]
no subject
He closes his hand into a fist, stops himself from trying to reach out further, seeking a contact that he should not. A deep, slow breath, then he lifts his head and fixes his eyes on the line in front of them, moving them forward once more as that line moves. ]
It's fine. I can handle it.
[ Doubtful, but he's also stubborn, and also prideful, and quite frankly, this is so much more difficult to handle than if Charles were to simply yell at him, hate him for everything he did. To find him acquiescing that he too did some wrong, meeting Erik halfway in carrying blame for what happened, brings down his walls far too easily. Not that they were ever very high for Charles to begin with. ]
I just don't know what more I can tell you. That I'm sorry, or that I wish things could have been different. I can't change everything that's happened, as much as I'd want to.
[ And he has never been much the kind to cling to what-ifs. It's only that he can't ever let go from what they had, even if he's lost it. ]