[ Charles would not have done much differently either. The bullet obviously he would, but letting go of Shaw would have meant Erik's death. He had to accept that he assisted in killing a man, something up until then he did not think he was capable of. It was shocking. But the other option simply wasn't one. He wouldn't trade Erik. But he did not think Erik would leave him. It seemed impossible up until the moment he did.
And then after, while he was healing, when he settled back at the house, he thought any day now, Erik and Raven would return. They left for the moment, but surely not forever. He was angry, of course, and he would have told them so, but it took him months before he accepted the finality of what happened. It grew his bitterness into what it became. It wasn't about the abandonment of that moment. It was every day and week and month afterward.
The line is going very slowly so they wait in it for now. Charles plays with the fabric of Erik's shirt underneath his fingertips, he has a tendency to do that with objects with his hands while his mind is wandering. It's another grounding technique with the world around them shifting. ]
I wouldn't have let you visit, but we could have talked.
[ Charles most certainly would not be so foolish as to invite Erik to the mansion. Absolutely not. Too dangerous, as they both have acknowledged! But that is what makes Charles and Erik's situation different, because he can reach across the globe to touch him, as he is now. ]
I know it's as much my fault. I'm the one who can reach out, not you.
[ Erik did have the number for the school but it could be traced, yes. So if Charles never did, that was his choice. They both expect the worst from each other, that they shut one another out on purpose, rather than consider there was any ground that could be remade. ]
But it comes back to the same thing, doesn't it? I never wanted to be apart from you.
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And then after, while he was healing, when he settled back at the house, he thought any day now, Erik and Raven would return. They left for the moment, but surely not forever. He was angry, of course, and he would have told them so, but it took him months before he accepted the finality of what happened. It grew his bitterness into what it became. It wasn't about the abandonment of that moment. It was every day and week and month afterward.
The line is going very slowly so they wait in it for now. Charles plays with the fabric of Erik's shirt underneath his fingertips, he has a tendency to do that with objects with his hands while his mind is wandering. It's another grounding technique with the world around them shifting. ]
I wouldn't have let you visit, but we could have talked.
[ Charles most certainly would not be so foolish as to invite Erik to the mansion. Absolutely not. Too dangerous, as they both have acknowledged! But that is what makes Charles and Erik's situation different, because he can reach across the globe to touch him, as he is now. ]
I know it's as much my fault. I'm the one who can reach out, not you.
[ Erik did have the number for the school but it could be traced, yes. So if Charles never did, that was his choice. They both expect the worst from each other, that they shut one another out on purpose, rather than consider there was any ground that could be remade. ]
But it comes back to the same thing, doesn't it? I never wanted to be apart from you.