[ Charles was always the naive of the two, certainly. Erik had always been honest about his goal with Shaw, but to the last second Charles had tried to stop him. When he couldn't, he at least stopped Shaw from moving. Just another way that he has hurt Charles, even if not physically. Stopping himself from looking back and thinking through all the things he could have done differently isn't going to change anything.
Because in truth, he doesn't know if he would have done anything differently. Maybe he would have drawn that gun from Moira's hands, rather than just deflect the bullets. Maybe he would have prevented the injury to Charles's spine. But he would have still left, in the end. He would have still abandoned him. Charles was not wrong to put it in exactly those words.
Feeling Charles slip into his mind again feels less jarring now, both because the first time at the motel was far more intense, and because they had been in actual physical contact then. But it is still overwhelming, like high tide washing over him. He needs a moment to pause, slow down a little, just to be able to get used to that presence while functioning in a public space. ]
Infamous, to be more accurate.
[ He's no telepath, but in his mind, he tries to focus on the picture of the cabin, an old place clearly in need of repairs. But it has a roof, walls, and (most) windows. A flicker of a memory so Charles knows Erik isn't lying.
A few disjointed thoughts run through his mind at that question, but when he conjures an answer, it's a shorter, quieter: ] I don't know.
[ He wanted to. That much is clear in his thoughts, which lie just beneath the surface of those words. The longer time passed, the more he wanted to reach out to him. Being as alone as he was only made that yearing the more unbearable. ]
It would have put you at risk, and anyone else who was with you. I didn't think that anything I wanted to say would be worth that chance.
[ And it would have been selfish, ultimately. He would have done it solely for himself and his own peace of mind, and he would have put everything Charles was working towards in jeopardy. Because Erik knows with absolute certainty that there will be people watching Charles. His house, his school, whenever it becomes that. They would be waiting patiently for Erik to reemerge. ]
no subject
Because in truth, he doesn't know if he would have done anything differently. Maybe he would have drawn that gun from Moira's hands, rather than just deflect the bullets. Maybe he would have prevented the injury to Charles's spine. But he would have still left, in the end. He would have still abandoned him. Charles was not wrong to put it in exactly those words.
Feeling Charles slip into his mind again feels less jarring now, both because the first time at the motel was far more intense, and because they had been in actual physical contact then. But it is still overwhelming, like high tide washing over him. He needs a moment to pause, slow down a little, just to be able to get used to that presence while functioning in a public space. ]
Infamous, to be more accurate.
[ He's no telepath, but in his mind, he tries to focus on the picture of the cabin, an old place clearly in need of repairs. But it has a roof, walls, and (most) windows. A flicker of a memory so Charles knows Erik isn't lying.
A few disjointed thoughts run through his mind at that question, but when he conjures an answer, it's a shorter, quieter: ] I don't know.
[ He wanted to. That much is clear in his thoughts, which lie just beneath the surface of those words. The longer time passed, the more he wanted to reach out to him. Being as alone as he was only made that yearing the more unbearable. ]
It would have put you at risk, and anyone else who was with you. I didn't think that anything I wanted to say would be worth that chance.
[ And it would have been selfish, ultimately. He would have done it solely for himself and his own peace of mind, and he would have put everything Charles was working towards in jeopardy. Because Erik knows with absolute certainty that there will be people watching Charles. His house, his school, whenever it becomes that. They would be waiting patiently for Erik to reemerge. ]