carmesi: <user name="berks"> (pic#17848257)
𝓦𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐀 ⬑ π“œπ€π—πˆπŒπŽπ…π… ([personal profile] carmesi) wrote in [community profile] diademooc 2025-05-19 08:58 pm (UTC)

:') cw for death and suicidal ideation?? maybe?

( he says that he's died before, and wanda catches no lie in that, which surprises her, but alsoβ€”that just means that there might be truth in her just jesting about him being 'special'. people here are different in their own ways, and some of them hardly normal at all, but that doesn't mean she wants to be pushed in with the lot of them β€” to be perceived, as different, either.

but it's his words about turning the the scars into a tool, into a weapon that trigger her pain all over again.

her expression shifts, she stands a little more defensively now, arms crossed. )


What if doing any of that doesn't feel worth it anymore? Then it's just pain and nothing else.

( since arriving here, she has been thinking β€” thinking about how it would be easier to just give up. and yet she's forced to continue, to find a job, to wake up in the mornings, to treat the injuries marring her wrists and neck, feeding herself... all the while being too fully aware hat living hurts. she is so often crippled by the agony of being without, crying herself to sleep, staring at the red that she can summon in her hands and wishing this power had never come to her.

her jawline tenses, feeling angry, now, this constant burst of emotions that she can't always keep in line. )


I don't need the life advice. You could never know what it's like.

( (and she'd wrong, though, to think herself alone in this type of position, in this type of pain.) )

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