Totally understand the shyness you're in good company so never worry! And yes you are recalling correctly! He lives in the morally grey, he really doesn't have much of a conscience or morals of his own, that all got stripped away thanks to his messed up childhood; he just tries to follow and mimic the actions of people who are good, the best he can. But this means he has no real judgment for people who are morally flexible and would not bat an eye at her murder count. You gotta take people out before they take you (or yours) out, after all.